


Holding On To You

by blurryfics



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Alcohol, Angst, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-04
Updated: 2019-04-07
Packaged: 2019-10-04 08:46:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 23
Words: 37,320
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17301533
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blurryfics/pseuds/blurryfics
Summary: Your entire life is centered around your small hometown in California: your career, your family, and your friends. When your long-term boyfriend receives a once in a lifetime opportunity on the other side of the country, you find yourself torn away from the life that you had grown so accustomed to. Now in the unfamiliar state of Ohio, you find yourself struggling to find the same happiness that your hometown provided.Things take a sharp downturn shortly after the move and you find yourself thrust into a whole new set of challenges. Will you be able to overcome your struggles and forge a new identity for yourself in Ohio?





	1. Chapter 1

“Hey, babe?”

You looked up from your phone. Your boyfriend, Matthew, was standing on the other side of the living room. He was leaned against the wall, playing nervously with the bracelet that he always wore on his wrist.

“Yeah?”

“So, I just heard from the graphic design company.”

You nodded, trying to ignore the fact that your heart was now pounding in your chest. Matthew had applied for a position at a well known design company a few weeks ago. Both of you had been anxiously waiting to hear if he got the job or not. If he did, it would be a huge step forward in his career.

“I got the job!”

You jumped up from the couch, rushing over so that you could throw your arms around him. He hugged you tightly, rocking you from side to side as he did so. It took him awhile to finally let go of you.

“There’s just one little drawback.”

Your eyebrows furrowed, “What’s that?”

“They want me to move to Ohio.”

You felt your stomach drop, “Ohio?”

“Yeah.”

You reached up and ran a hand through your hair. Your entire life was here in California: your family, your photography business, everything that you knew and loved. Ohio seemed like worlds away, but you knew that this was a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity for Matthew.

“That’s really far away, babe. What’s wrong with working at their branch out here?”

“They don’t have a department for what I specialize in. The only way I can take the job is if I go to Ohio.”

You sighed, “You know I love you, Matt, but that’s a big change. My entire life is here.”

He reached out and placed a hand on your arm, “I know it is, which is why you know I would only ask you to do this if it was of the utmost importance.”

“I’ll think about it.”

“Thank you,” he grinned, giving you a quick kiss.

He walked back to his office and you returned to where you had been sitting on the couch. You were sure that Matt was the guy that you wanted to spend the rest of your life with and there was no way you would be able to swing living halfway across the country from him. It would be difficult to start your photography business over from scratch, but it wasn’t impossible. Besides, you knew Matt would do everything in his power to make sure you were comfortable so far from home.

Maybe Ohio wouldn’t be so bad.

 

It had been about a month since you moved out to Ohio and you were hating it. Every street corner was unfamiliar, your only friends were your coworkers and Matthew, and your photography business was failing miserably. You missed your family and friends back home, and you were counting down the days until you had a long enough break to fly home and see them.

The only thing that got you through the day was Matthew. He was loving his new job, and the fact that he was so happy was enough to keep you in Ohio. You kept telling yourself it was only a matter of time before things started to look up. Not to mention that you were pretty sure that Matthew was going to propose any day now; the wedding would give you plenty to focus on.

You waved goodbye to your coworkers and started the walk home. It was a short walk, maybe fifteen minutes if you were going particularly slow, and it was a nice way for you to clear your head before you got home. You weren’t particularly ecstatic about working at a caf é , but it gave you something to do with your time and brought in some extra money.

You walked quickly down the sidewalk, eager to get home and see the expression on Matthew’s face when you arrived home from work an hour early. He had been so busy lately that you two rarely got to spend any quality time together, so tonight would be the ideal opportunity to get some takeout and watch a movie together. It would be the perfect way to celebrate surviving another week in Ohio.

You took the stairs to the apartment two at a time. Your heart was already pounding with the anticipation of surprising Matthew. The look on his face was going to be priceless, you could practically see it.

The door creaked as you swung it open. Your keys jingled a bit as you pulled them out of the knob.

“Babe, I’m home!” you called.

You finally turned and got a good look at the apartment. Two suitcases were sitting behind the couch, one of them open and half-full of your clothes. A variety of your other belongings were sitting around them, sorted into haphazard piles. Your stomach immediately dropped.

“Babe?” you called again.

Matthew walked out of your shared bedroom with another pile of your clothes in his outstretched arms. His face immediately went white as his eyes landed on you, evidently having not heard you when you arrived home.

“You’re home early,” he stammered.

“Yeah, they let me leave early today,” you said quietly.

He walked over and dropped the clothes he was carrying into the open suitcase. You slowly slid your bag off your shoulder and set it against the wall in its usual spot, never taking your eyes off Matthew.

“What’s going on?” you asked.

“I was, uh-,” he said, reaching up to rub the back of his neck. “It’s kind of a long story. I wasn’t expecting you home this early.”

“Well I have,” you pulled your sleeve back and checked the time, “sixteen hours until my next shift, so I would start talking.”

“Oh, you’re not going to like the sound of this,” he said, tilting his head back to look at the ceiling.

“Sound of what?”

“This isn’t working, Y/N.”

Your eyebrows furrowed, “What isn’t working?”

“Us,” he said, biting down on his lip.

It felt like the ground had been pulled out from underneath you. You leaned up against the wall to steady your shaking legs as you tried to process what was happening. 

“Why?” you asked. It was all you could manage to get out.

“Listen, Y/N,” he sighed, reaching up to run a hand through his hair. “Things just haven’t been the same between us lately. I thought that maybe a change of scenery would help us, but I just think that it would be better if we split up.”

“What?” you muttered. It was hard to believe what you were hearing. Your legs were starting to shake so hard that you weren’t sure how much longer you would be able to keep standing.

“We’ve been together for four years, that’s a long time. You were my first serious relationship, and I’m starting to realize that there’s a lot out there that I haven’t experienced yet. We’re in a whole new state and there’s all these new people to meet. Don’t you ever think about who else is out there?”

You looked him straight in the eyes and shook your head. Matt was the only one that you had ever wanted.

“Never?” he asked, one eyebrow raised. He didn’t believe you.

You shook your head, “I can’t believe you.”

“I’m sorry, Y/N. I know this isn’t exactly ideal-”

“No,” you cut him off as the hurt began to get replaced with anger. “It’s my turn to talk. I spent four years of my life with you. I knew that I wanted to marry you from the start and there was never a single doubt in my mind about that. You should have ended things the moment you started looking elsewhere, because all you’ve done is waste my time. Look at me, Matthew. I sacrificed everything for you. My family. My career. My happiness. For what? For me to move out here with you, only to be dropped because things didn’t get magically fixed like you wanted them to?”

“I wasn’t expecting a magical fix, I just…” He didn’t finish his sentence.

“Why did you even drag me here if you were having doubts? You should have talked to me about it, Matt.”

“I thought that a change of pace might be good for both of us.”

“Are you kidding?” you spat. “You don’t get to make those life decisions for me! I’m miserable here and the only reason that I stayed was for you. Now look, Matt. I’m stuck here with nothing and nobody.”

“Why don’t you move home?”

“What, like I can afford that? You heard my parents when we left. They didn’t want me to leave, but I told them that I had to because you were the love of my life and we needed to be together.”

Matthew looked down at his feet. He hadn’t looked at you for most of the conversation.

“Little did I know you didn’t feel the same,” you sighed.

“I’m sorry,” Matthew said.

“You’re not.”

Both of you were quiet then. You leaned against the wall, still waiting for the moment when you felt steady enough to get up and walk towards the couch. Matthew remained staring at the ground, steadily tapping his fingers against his forearm.

“So, what’s the deal with my stuff?” you finally asked.

You didn’t even want to know what it was that he had been planning.

“Right,” he said, turning to look at it. “I’m going to need you to move out.”


	2. Chapter 2

****

You felt your stomach sink. There was no way you were going to be able to afford a new place with Columbus’ rent, especially given your current job.

“What?”

“I need you to move out, preferably within the next week.”

“Now wait just a minute,” you said, holding a hand out. “You know that I can’t afford that.”

“We’re not together anymore, Y/N. There’s no reason to live together.”

“You can’t break up with me and then immediately kick me out!”

“I’m sure there’s someplace you can live,” he shrugged.

“Back in California, maybe! Matt, you know how expensive rent is here. How in the world am I supposed to afford that? Much less find somewhere in a week!”

“There’s plenty of job opportunities, Y/N. You have a college degree, how hard can finding a job be?”

“Really hard, Matt! I have a photography degree, remember?”

He rolled his eyes. You bit down on your cheek to keep from yelling at him.

“Then work in photography. You’re good at that and you have experience. Should be easy enough,” he shrugged.

You took a moment to compose yourself, “It takes years to build up a reputable photography business and even longer to make a decent living from it. And in case you forgot, I had one back home until you dragged me out here.”

“Then move back home!” he said, raising his voice a bit. “That way you can stop acting like this is all my fault.”

“That’s because it is!” you snapped. “My parents didn’t want me to leave, and you can bet that they’ll be upset if I come crying back to them after a month after all the convincing I did. You ripped me away from the life that I had and made me start all over. You had a job all lined up. I didn’t. You decided to end things when you did. I didn’t. You decided I needed to move out in a week. I didn’t.”

Matthew reached a hand up and ruffled his hair. He seemed annoyed by this conversation, but that was nothing new.

“Fine, you can stay as long as you’re actively working towards moving out.”

“Gladly,” you spat.

Matthew turned and walked back into the bedroom. You walked over and took a seat on the couch as the reality of what had just happened began to hit you. Tears began to rush down your cheeks, so you grabbed a pillow to hide your face. The last thing you wanted was Matthew seeing you sobbing on the couch.

You heard Matthew walk back into the living room and dump what could only be clothes onto your already full suitcases. The door to his bedroom closed so you figured it was safe to get off the couch. If you were going to be living out of your suitcases, you might as well make them as organized as possible.

So much for your movie night.

 

Getting ready for work the next morning was weird. Every last one of your belongings had been gathered together and put in the living room by Matthew. You ended up getting ready at the kitchen counter, bent over a mirror that you could barely see yourself in. Not to mention that leaning over was made ten times more difficult with your sore back from sleeping on the couch.

Matthew was still asleep when you walked out the front door. You just hoped that the locks wouldn’t be changed by the time you got home from work later that afternoon.

“Hey, Y/N!” one of your coworkers called as you walked in. “Ready for a super exciting day?”

“Sure,” you laughed as you walked behind the counter.

You hung your bag up and grabbed your apron from its spot on the wall. At least there was still one place in Ohio where you felt welcome.

“You doing alright?” she asked. “You’re looking pretty down.”

“Matthew broke up with me last night,” you explained as you tied the apron around your waist.

Her jaw dropped, “No way! This is the dude that you’ve been with since college?”

“That’s the one.”

You walked towards the back of the shop to grab what you would need. Your coworker followed you, the confusion still evident on her face. 

“Hold on, I need more details.”

“Long story short, he said that he was beginning to doubt the relationship but thought that moving out here might be good for both of us. As it turns out, that wasn’t the case and he decided to end things now that I’m hundreds of miles away from everything that I love.”

“So, he dragged you out here to dump you, basically?”

“Pretty much,” you sighed. You could feel tears beginning to surface, but you quickly pushed the feeling down. “He even tried to give me a week to move out, but I begged him to let me stay longer because there’s no way I can afford my own place right now. He eventually gave in and said I could stay as long as I was actively trying to move out.”

“What are you going to do?”

You took a deep breath, letting it out slowly, “I honestly don’t know. All I want to do is move back home, but my parents will be pissed if I come crying back to them. For now, I think I’m just stuck here. Hopefully my photography takes off soon, I really need the money.”

Your coworker reached out and rubbed your back soothingly, “You’re going to get through this, Y/N. I’ll do whatever I can to help. I’d even say you could move in with me, but my apartment is already cramped enough with my two other roommates.”

“Thank you so much. It means a lot to know that somebody has my back.”

She pulled you into a quick hug before stepping back and smiling widely, “Alright, let’s make today productive. The better service we have, the more tips we can get.”

“Let’s do it.”

 

By the time that you were walking home from work that afternoon, your cheeks hurt from smiling at customers all day. The extra tips were worth it though, at this point any little bit would help you pay for a new place. 

The mere thought of trying to find an apartment was enough to cause your stomach to twist. Rent in Columbus was expensive and there was no way you would be able to swing paying for your own apartment and a car with your current job. Not to mention all the other expenses.

You shook your head in a vain attempt to get the thoughts out of your head. Every time you thought about everything you had to do, it just sent you into a panic. Maybe it wouldn’t be such a bad idea to bite the bullet and call your parents. After all, they might not hate the idea of you coming home as much as you thought they would.

You held your breath as you pulled your keys out of your bag. Although it was unlikely, a small part of you was afraid that Matthew had changed the lock on the door before he left for work. Your shoulders instantly relaxed as the knob turned easily and the door swung open. You set your bag by the door and walked over to the couch, collapsing onto it.

It felt like a lifetime since you had been in California. You missed being there, where your family was only a twenty minute drive away and your career was doing something that you loved. Seeing friends and family every weekend was the norm and everything was familiar. You thought it was the place that you would spend the rest of your life.

Now you were here.

You had wanted to love Ohio, even if it was only for Matthew’s sake. He had been so happy over the last month, although now you questioned if that had actually been the case. You had quickly learned that he was a fantastic liar. Now you just hated Ohio even more than you had before. There was nothing here for you.

Your mind began to run over possibilities of how to get out of here. You were pretty sure that you had enough money saved to get a plane ticket back home if it came down to that, then you would just have to work out where to stay. That shouldn’t be too difficult; you had plenty of friends back home. Maybe you should start calling them.

You began to get too overwhelmed, so you grabbed your headphones and made yourself comfortable on the couch. A short nap would help you feel better and take your mind off of everything for awhile. 

 

Matthew slammed the door, causing you to sit straight up. You turned to look at him, wondering why he had so aggressively closed the door. He didn’t seem upset as he stood by the door taking his work shoes off, meaning that he had most likely done it out of spite.

“How was work?” you asked.

You couldn’t care less about his day, but you figured that if you two were going to be living together for an indefinite amount of time, you should at least try to be civil. Matthew evidently didn’t have the same idea, as he didn’t even glance up from his phone when you talked to him. Instead, he ignored you and walked straight into his room. You leaned back on the couch and groaned. This wasn’t going to be as easy as you had hoped.

There was no longer a doubt in your mind: you had to get out of Ohio. Soon.


	3. Chapter 3

This was bad. Really bad. It needed to be fixed immediately, if that was even possible.

You leaned forward, twirling a strand of your now bright orange hair around your index finger. It was supposed to be a nice blonde color, but somewhere along the way something had gone terribly wrong. There was no way you would be able to go to work like this, your coworkers would never let you hear the end of it.

You stormed out of the bathroom, thankful that you had decided to do this on a weekend when Matthew was out of town. It had been a week since things between the two of you ended and you were still less than civil to one another. There was no way you would have been able to avoid his nasty comments. Besides, he had always said you would look dumb as a blonde, even when you were dating.

Your phone was still sitting on the coffee table where you had left it, so you snatched it up and began to search for ways to correct hair color. There had to be something you could do without leaving the apartment. You weren’t sure that you would be able to handle all the stares that you would no doubt get in public with your current condition.

Twenty minutes of in-depth internet searching ending up yielding no usable results. You groaned and threw your phone down on the couch and rubbed your temples. All you needed was to find a way to get in and out of the grocery store without drawing too much attention to yourself. Ideas began to cycle through your mind, but none of them seemed doable.

That’s when you spotted it: an oversized sweatshirt tossed into the corner. You ran over and grabbed it, pulling it over your head. As you walked to the bathroom, you pulled the hood over your head and cinched it around your head so that only your face was visible. Sure, it made you look a little bit dorky, but it was better than having strangers comment on your fluorescent hair.

You looked over yourself in the mirror, making sure that your hair was covered from every angle. Yes, this would do perfectly. Now all you needed to do was get to the grocery store, find a dark color to cover up your mistake, and re-dye it before Matthew got home tomorrow afternoon. How hard could that be?

 

Your odd outfit gained you a couple stares as you shuffled towards the back of the grocery store, but your mind was focused on one thing and one thing only. 

You breathed a sigh of relief as you spotted the row full of hair dye. There were seemingly countless colors to choose from, and you weren’t sure how you were going to decide. It had taken you long enough to decide to go blonde, and look how that had turned out.

You were looking over some dark brown options when you spotted someone round the corner at the end of the aisle. He was walking fairly quickly, so you hoped that he would continue right past you and not give you a second glance. Unfortunately for you, he came to a stop a few feet away from you and began to look over some of the brightly colored options. At least he hadn’t commented on your weird outfit.

You decided a glance at the stranger wouldn’t hurt, so you discreetly turned your head so that you could better see him out of the corner of your eye. Your heart skipped a beat as soon you laid eyes on him and for a moment you stumbled from your carefully balanced squatting position.

A beautifully colored tattoo sleeve covered the arm closest to you, ending right at his wrist. Your eyes moved further up to his face, which was covered in light stubble. His brown eyes were just barely visible as they roamed over the color options. Brightly colored strands of hair, some of which were hanging over his face, stood up at all angles with dark brown roots just starting to show. You were pretty sure that you hadn’t ever seen someone so beautiful before.

He started to reach for something, causing you to quickly redirect your attention back to the boxes of hair dye in front of you as if you hadn’t just been admiring him. Your cheeks were burning from embarrassment, despite him not so much as looking towards you.

“The fact that you have a hood cinched around your head and you’re in the hair dye aisle concerns me,” he said suddenly, laughter just barely detectable in his tone.

You turned towards him, only to realize that he was looking at you. He had grabbed his own box of red hair dye and was holding it between his hands. His mouth was turned up into the slightest hint of a smirk.

“It’s a long story,” you smiled, standing back up to your full height.

“I’ve got a fair amount of experience with dying hair, if you want some help,” he said. It seemed like a genuine offer.

“Well,” you sighed, taking a glance over your shoulder. Once you realized that it was just the two of you in the aisle, you reached up and pulled down your hood. “How do I fix this?”

The man’s eyes went wide for a moment before he began to laugh. He brought a hand up to cover his mouth, “I’m really sorry, I shouldn’t be laughing, but-wow-yeah, that’s definitely something.”

“Tell me about it,” you grinned.

“Ok, let’s see,” he said, walking over closer to you. “You were definitely on the right track with a darker color.”

The two of you looked over the hair dyes together, grabbing random colors and asking for the other’s opinion. You eventually settled on a dark brunette color. Oddly enough, it wasn’t too far off from the color of the man’s roots.

“Are you going to be able to handle that?” he laughed.

You rolled your eyes at him, “I actually dye my hair pretty frequently, thank you very much. It just so happens that today went very poorly.”

“I can see that,” he smiled.

You pulled your hood up and tied it once again, hiding your terribly dyed hair from view. The man watched as you did so, laughing a little bit. You were sad that the two of you would have to part ways so soon, your few minutes together were the happiest you had felt since the breakup.

“Well, I suppose this is where we part ways,” you sighed.

“You know, I could give you my number, if you wanted it. I wouldn’t want you to get stuck in another hair dye emergency and not have anyone to turn to.”

“I would like that,” you smiled. “Who knows, if my second dye job goes as badly as my first, I’m definitely going to need the help.”

You pulled out your phone and opened the contacts app before handing your phone off to him. He quickly typed in his information before passing it back to you.

“Josh Dun,” you read out loud.

“That’s me,” he said, holding his arms out.

“I’m Y/N,” you said as you sent him a text.

He pulled his phone out just as it dinged. This caused him to smile.

“It was nice to meet you, Y/N.”

“You too, Josh. And thank you for all the help.”

“It was no problem. If there’s one thing I know a lot about, it’s hair dye.”

“I wish I could say the same,” you laughed.

“You’ll get there.”

You rolled your eyes again, but smiled nonetheless.

“So, I’ll see you around?” you asked, starting to walk backwards.

“Definitely.”

You threw up your hand in a half-wave before turning on your heel and walking back down the aisle. It was hard not to let a smile take over your face. After spending the last week feeling absolutely miserable, it was nice to finally feel like something was going your way, even if your hair still looked like a mess.


	4. Chapter 4

You closed the front door and walked over to the couch, tossing your bag by the door as you did so. Today had been one of your extra long shifts, and you were looking forward to laying down on the couch and relaxing. Matthew wasn’t supposed to be home for another couple hours, meaning that you wouldn’t have to worry about him sabotaging your peaceful sleep.

The TV was the first thing you heard when you eventually woke up. Matthew was sitting in the armchair, holding the TV remote in one hand. The volume was much louder than it needed to be, and you knew that it was no accident. He had always been the one to complain that you needed the TV too loud, a result of frequently blasting music in your car as a teenager.

“Do you mind turning that down?” you asked, although the damage had already been done. You were awake, and you wouldn’t be falling asleep again anytime soon.

“Yeah, no problem.”

Matthew immediately turned the volume back down to a level that you would have had no trouble sleeping through. At least the two of you were talking now. He had been a lot more talkative since returning from his weekend trip, although most of what he said was insults and snarky comments. If you didn’t know any better, you would have thought you were the one who broke up with him.

You rolled your eyes as you reached over and grabbed your phone from the coffee table to check the time. Your attention was quickly redirected as you caught a glimpse of the familiar green color of the messages app on your screen. One look at the name was enough to put a smile on your face.

“What has you so happy?” Matthew asked as you unlocked your phone.

Your expression quickly faded, “Nothing.”

“Whatever.”

**_Josh:_** _How’s the hair dye holding up?_

You shook your head a bit as you typed out your response.

**_Y/N:_** _Surprisingly well. I thought the orange would have shown up by now_

Josh’s answer was almost instant.

**_Josh:_** _It’s because you had my help in picking it out_

You and Josh had been texting near constantly for the last few days. The two of you were quickly growing close and it was nice to feel like there was actually someone who had your back in the city. Plus it helped to keep your mind off of everything else that you should be worrying about, but had no control over.

**_Y/N:_** _Sure it is…_

 ** _Josh:_** _Hey, you never sent me those photos you were talking about last night_

“Damn,” you muttered.

You had completely forgotten about that. The two of you had somehow ended up on the topic of your photography business last night and you had promised to send him some of your photos once your laptop was done charging. Of course, it had completely slipped your mind.

**_Y/N:_** _Oh right, give me a couple minutes_

You got up and grabbed your hard drive and laptop from your suitcase on the other side of the room. When you returned, despite the fact that you had gotten up no more than ten seconds ago, Matthew had moved from his spot in the armchair and stolen half the couch.

“Hey, I was sitting there.”

“I can see the TV better from here,” he said, gesturing towards it. “Besides, you don’t get to steal the entire couch.”

“This wouldn’t be a problem if you hadn’t dragged me out here and broken up with me,” you muttered as you sat back down on the opposite end of the couch.

You plugged in your hard drive and began to cycle through photos, looking through the ones that you had been telling Josh about. They were ones that you had taken of Los Angeles the night before you left for Ohio. The sunset that night had been phenomenal. Once you found what you were looking for, you sent them to Josh.

**_Josh:_** _Y/N! These are amazing! I had no idea that you were so talented_

**_Y/N:_ ** _ Tell that to the people here, my photography business is failing miserably _

**_Josh:_** _Do you have any more photos that I can see? I’m just absolutely blown away_

You continued to look through your photos, reliving memories as you selected ones that you thought Josh might like. There were some of your family, the town that you had grown up in, and just random ones that you had taken in your daily life. It was only making you miss doing photography more--you hadn’t really had a chance to do much since the move--although you were happy that Josh was taking such an interest in it.

The two of you talked for awhile longer until he eventually stopped responding. You assumed that he had gotten busy and you had to make yourself dinner anyway. Matthew was taking up most of the tiny kitchen, as he often did, although you managed to make yourself a nice meal with the room he had left for you.

“Can we watch something that we both like?” you asked as both of you sat down on the couch with your dinners.

“I’m in the middle of this show!” he said.

“Yeah, and you can finish it later.”

“If you want to watch something else so badly, you can watch it on your laptop.”

You held back an audible groan and made yourself comfortable, deciding that Matthew’s dumb show was better than watching nothing. Living with him was getting more aggravating by the day, which you were sure was intentional. Even though the two of you weren’t flat out fighting, he knew all the right ways to push your buttons and slowly drive you insane.

The only thing keeping you from giving up completely and moving home was Josh. You knew that if you moved home, things between you and him would essentially come to an end. There was no way a long-distance friendship like that would work, especially since you had met less than a week ago. You just hoped that you would be able to put up living with Matthew long enough to find your own place.

 

Josh finally texted you again about an hour after you had finished your dinner. Matthew had finally given up on TV and went into his bedroom, allowing you to catch up on the shows you liked.

**_Josh:_** _Hey, can I call you really quick?_

You felt a burst of adrenaline rush through you, but you were curious as to why he needed to call you.

**_Y/N:_** _Yeah, go for it_

You got up from the couch and grabbed your apartment key as you headed out into the hallway; you would rather that Matthew didn’t know who you were talking to. Your phone started to ring right as you closed the door.

“Hello?”

“Y/N!” It felt nice to hear Josh’s voice again. “How are you?”

“I’m making it through the week. How about you?”

You opened the door to the stairwell with your hip and took a seat at the top of the stairs.

“I’m doing pretty good. Just working on band stuff.”

“Right, how is that?”

“Good! I’ll have to introduce you to Tyler soon. I think you two would get along really well.”

“I would love to meet him!”

“Yeah. So, the reason I’m calling you.”

“Right.”

“I have an offer for you, if you’re interested.”

“What kind of offer?” you asked, trying to ignore the nervous feeling in the pit of your stomach.

“I can’t tell you that yet, but I can tell you that it’s definitely something you’ll want to consider.”

“When do I get to find out?”

“How about lunch tomorrow? It’s your day off, right?”

“Yeah, it is. And lunch sounds fantastic.”

“Perfect. I think Tyler will be able to come along too.”

“Ok! What are the details?”

“How does one o'clock at the pizza place on fourth street sound?”

“Josh, I moved here just over a month ago. Do you really expect me to know which pizza place you’re referring to?”

This caused him to laugh, “I can text you the address, but does one work?”

“Yeah, one is great.”

“Ok, I’ll see you tomorrow then?”

“Tomorrow, yeah.”

“Ok, I’ll talk to you later.”

“Bye.”

You quickly ended the call. Your mind was swarming with possibilities of what offer Josh could possibly have for you. The answers seemed endless.

Matthew was in the kitchen when you walked into the apartment. He was scooping ice cream into a small bowl.

“Where were you?”

“Doesn’t matter,” you shrugged, walking back over to the couch. Matthew just shook his head, grabbed his ice cream, and walked back into the bedroom.

You were feeling somewhere between excited and nervous. Josh’s offer could be about anything, although you were pretty sure it was a positive thing. After all, he would have no reason to sound so excited about something bad, right?

All that was left to do was wait.


	5. Chapter 5

 

Your eyes moved quickly between your phone and the sidewalk in front of you as you made your way towards the pizza place Josh had told you to meet them at. You were nervous, but the need for you to navigate was helping to keep your mind busy. The plan had been for you to drive since the restaurant was on the other side of town, but Matthew had made sure that wasn’t an option when he stole the car that morning and you had been too shy to ask Josh to pick you up.

You were only about a block away when you got a text from Josh saying they were outside. Figuring that you were too close for it to be worth letting him know where you were, you slid the notification out of the way and quickly closed the map app. Everything was going to be fine, you were sure of it. Or at least, that’s what you wanted to believe.

Josh was easy to spot with his now bright red hair. The man next to him, who could only be Tyler, looked different than you had anticipated. You had expected someone who looked similar to Josh with brightly colored hair and equally vibrant tattoos. Instead, dark bands covered his left arm and there wasn’t a single bit of color on him aside from his shirt. It was an interesting contrast.

“Hi,” you smiled as you drew closer to them. “You must be Tyler.”

“That’s me,” Tyler smiled, holding out a hand.

You shook his hand and then turned to Josh, who held his arms out for a hug. That was unexpected, but you wrapped your arms around him and gave him a quick squeeze.

“Nice to see you again,” he said as he let go. “The hair looks nice.”

“Thanks,” you smiled. “I could say the same to you.”

Josh smiled and shook his head a little.

“Should we head inside?” Tyler asked, nodding his head towards the door. “It’s kind of cold out here.”

“Let’s do it,” Josh said.

You followed the two boys inside, taking in your surroundings as you did so. Various paintings and posters covered the brightly colored walls and early 2000s music was playing through speakers. It screamed “stereotypical pizza joint”.

The three of you sat at a booth towards the back of the restaurant. You slid into one side while Josh and Tyler sat across from you. Neither of them looked at the menu, obviously already knowing what they wanted from having been here so many times before.

“What should I get?” you asked as you looked over the menu.

Much to your surprise, Tyler was the one who answered you, “The triple topping pizza is really good, although cheese is always a safe option.” Josh nodded his agreement.

“I think I’ll try that then,” you said, putting the menu back in its place.

“I’ll go order,” Tyler said, standing up once again.

“Can you get me a drink?” Josh called after him.

“Me too!” you added.

“Sure thing,” he said without turning around.

Once Tyler was out of earshot, Josh turned back to you and leaned forward, “So, first impressions?”

“He seems nice!” you smiled, trying to stay positive. “Quieter than I expected, though, based on what you had told me.”

Josh rolled his eyes, “He’s being shy. Just wait for him to warm up.”

You nodded, hoping that he was right. The last thing you needed was another person in this city that couldn’t stand you.

Tyler returned a few minutes later with a number and three empty drink cups. He set the number at the end of the table and then Josh joined him to go get drinks, saying he would get yours for you. It didn’t take a genius to know that it was just an excuse for him to ask Tyler the same question he had asked you.

“Here you are,” Josh said, setting your drink in front of you.

“Thank you,” you said, taking a sip.

“So, Josh tells me that you moved here about a month ago,” Tyler said.

“Yep, all the way from California.”

“How are you liking it?”

You let out a nervous laugh. Josh still hadn’t heard the full story of the move to Ohio, and you weren’t sure if you would be able to get through the story without crying yet.

“It’s complicated,” you said, avoiding eye contact as you played with a nearby napkin.

“Why is that?”

You spent the next twenty minutes giving Tyler and Josh the full rundown of your life for the past month, from learning that you would be moving to Ohio to the tension that still existed between you and Matthew. The only pauses were to answer the boys’ questions and when your pizza arrived halfway through the story.

You had done pretty good about not crying until you got to the very end. The fear of finding a place to live and supporting yourself started to creep in. When the tears started to pool in your eyes, you quickly excused yourself to the bathroom. Crying was not about to be part of your first impression on Tyler.

You grabbed a couple paper towels from the dispenser and lightly dabbed at your eyes. They were still a bit puffy, so you splashed some cold water on your face. The boys probably thought you were crazy, but worst case scenario you would move back home and never see them again.

Once you had calmed down and no longer looked like you had been crying, you walked back out to the table where the boys were talking. They went quiet as soon as their eyes landed on you, causing your stomach to twist in discomfort. More likely than not, they had been talking about how dumb you were being.

“Sorry about that,” you said, sitting down and taking a sip of your soda.

“It’s totally fine,” Josh said.

“Yeah, I’m really sorry if that was a sensitive topic. I had no idea,” Tyler said.

“No, it’s ok!” you reassured him. “I chose to talk about it.”

Both of the boys nodded as they briefly shared a look. You tried to brush it off.

“So, music. Tell me about that,” you said, hoping a topic change would help clear the air.

Tyler’s face instantly lit up, “Tour starts in just over a week. I can’t wait to be back on the road again.”

“Tour?” you asked, eyebrows raising in question. Josh hadn’t mentioned a tour.

“Yeah, we leave in a week and two days,” Josh explained. “We’re playing shows all over the US for the next couple months.”

“Oh,” you nodded, trying to ignore the way your stomach felt like it was sinking. “That sounds super exciting.”

Tour meant that Josh wouldn’t be in Columbus, and if Josh wasn’t in Columbus then you wouldn’t have anyone to fall back on. It would be just you and Matthew, and that wasn’t something you were looking forward to.

“It is,” Josh smiled. “I can’t wait.”

“Hopefully I’ll get to come to a show,” you smiled. “You guys do play a show here, don’t you?”

Both of the boys nodded. “It’s one of the most fun to play,” Tyler explained.

“I bet,” you smiled.

“So, Y/N,” Tyler said. “Josh showed me some of your photos last night.”

“He did?” you said. You could feel the color coming to your cheeks almost instantly.

“Yeah. They were amazing. Are you considering pursuing photography as a career?”

“It’s my dream,” you smiled, worries momentarily forgotten. “I had a small business going back in California, but I obviously had to leave that behind. I’m trying to get something going here, but it isn’t easy to start over.”

Josh smiled at you, “How would you like to come on tour with us as our photographer?”

Your jaw dropped as soon as the words left Josh’s mouth, “Are you serious?”

Tyler was laughing a bit at your reaction, “Dead serious.”

You could hardly believe what you were hearing. It was like every problem that you had was suddenly gone: you could move out of the apartment you shared with Matthew, go back to doing what you loved, and finally be happy again.

“I hate to ask this because I’m thankful for the opportunity alone, but how much would I be making?”

“Funny you ask,” Tyler smiled, reaching into his pants pocket.

He slid a folded up piece of paper across the table to you, which you slowly opened up. Your eyes scanned the page until you saw the number.

“No way,” you grinned. “This isn’t real. You guys are messing with me.”

“We’re not messing with you,” Josh said.

“This is more than I was making back home!”

“You have talent, Y/N. We need that,” Tyler explained.

You slid out of the booth and waved your arms frantically at the boys. They were laughing at you as you pulled them each into a tight hug.

“I’m never going to be able to thank you enough,” you said, fanning yourself a bit to keep from crying again.

“Your photos are going to be more than enough thanks,” Josh said.

There were a million questions that you wanted to ask, but you knew that they could wait for a later time. You were still waiting for the moment when you would wake up from this dream on the couch in Matthew’s living room to the sound of him slamming the door for the millionth time.

You shook your head, “I really can’t believe this.”

“Believe it,” Tyler said, clapping a hand down on your shoulder. “Because you’re coming on tour with us.”

“Tour,” you repeated. “Wow, I never thought I would hear that.” You turned to Josh, suddenly remembering the conversation you had on the phone last night. Your brain had been so preoccupied with everything else that it had completely slipped your mind, “So this was your offer?”

He smiled, “Yep. We just had to make sure that Tyler liked you enough to bring with us.”

“I passed the test?”

“Yes you did,” Tyler laughed.

“Alright, well we actually have a lot of preparations left to do before we leave, so we should probably head out.”

“Right, I need to start packing as well,” you smiled.

Josh and Tyler started to walk off, but you suddenly remembered the long walk you had endured to get here. Not wanting to repeat that experience, you decided that asking the boys for a ride probably wouldn’t hurt. Besides, it wasn’t like you had to hide the fact that your ex was terrible to you anymore.

“Hey, guys?” you said. They both turned to look at you. “Can I ask one more favor?”

“Sure,” Tyler said.

“Can I get a ride home? My ex stole the car.”

“Yeah, come on,” Josh waved you along.

You fell into step with them, not even bothering to hide the smile on your face. Things were really beginning to look up.


	6. Chapter 6

****

“You’re leaving?” Matthew asked as you packed another shirt into your already stuffed suitcase.

“Yep.”

“Where are you going?” he asked.

You stood up and brushed a bit of dust off your knees, “I already told you where I’m going. I got a job as a touring photographer for a local band.”

“Are you sure this is safe? I mean you met these guys… when did you meet them?”

You rolled your eyes, “Matt, would you stop acting like you suddenly care about me? You’ve done absolutely nothing but make my life miserable for the last three weeks and now that I’m actually doing something to make myself happy, you’re acting like I’m going insane.”

“You’re going on tour with two guys that you barely know. Doesn’t that seem a bit, I don’t know, weird?”

He followed you as you walked into the office and grabbed a couple cables for your camera and laptop. It was the same thing that he had been doing since he got home from work and saw you packing.

“Just stop, Matt. My life doesn’t affect you anymore, so stop acting like it does.”

“Yeah, but your parents would kill me if I let something happen to you.”

You finally stopped what you were doing and turned to face him, “Would you stop treating me like a child? I can make my own decisions. Besides, anything is better than having to spend another day here with you.”

This finally got him to shut up. He sulked off to the bedroom, finally allowing you to finish packing in peace. Since you wouldn’t be coming back to this apartment, you had to find a way to get every last one of your belongings into three suitcases. It was proving to be a bit of a challenge, but you didn’t mind. You were just happy to be leaving.

 

Tyler and Josh arrived right at six. You opened the door and invited them inside while you finished tying up your shoes and packing up the last few things that you had almost forgotten. Matthew appeared out of the bedroom to see what was going on. His eyes went wide as he spotted Tyler and Josh just inside the door.

“You must be Matthew,” Josh smiled.

Matthew nodded slowly and turned to look at you. You smiled innocently.

“So, this is who you’re going on tour with?” Matthew asked.

“Yep, this is Tyler and Josh,” you said, gesturing to each of them.

“Nice to meet you,” Matthew smiled.

“I wish I could say the same,” Tyler said, causing you to quickly shoot him a look. Beside him, Josh was trying his hardest not to laugh.

“Do you need help with your stuff?” Josh asked.

“Yeah, actually. If you could each take a suitcase, that would help a lot.”

The boys walked over and each took a suitcase before walking out into the hall. Matthew stood frozen in place, watching as everything unfolded. You stood up and grabbed the final suitcase.

“This is it,” you said to him.

“Bye, I guess,” he shrugged.

You walked over to the door, resting one hand on the knob, “Oh yeah, one more thing.”

“What?”

“Please never contact me again,” you said before closing the door and walking out into the hall.

Tyler and Josh were waiting for you in the hall, so you fell into step with them.

The tour bus was parked on the street outside, taking up more space than was legal, you were pretty sure. Josh walked up and put in the code on the door.

“4579, remember that,” he said, pointing to you.

You nodded, repeating the number in your head a couple times. It would probably be a good idea to write that down somewhere. Josh opened the door and walked inside. Tyler gestured for you to follow, which you gladly did.

The inside of the tour bus was much nicer than you expected. There would be plenty of space for you to comfortably edit photos, which had been one of your main concerns. Plus the couch looked much comfier than the one in Matthew’s apartment, which would be a nice added bonus.

“Alright, time for the tour,” Josh smiled, setting your suitcase off to the side.

“Welcome to the main part of the tour bus,” Tyler said, holding his arms out for added effect. “This is where we hang out, play games, and eat.”

“It’s really nice,” you said, taking a moment to look around. 

“Don’t tell anybody else, but this is the super secret snack cupboard,” Josh said.

He stood up on the couch and pulled open one of the cabinets. It was packed with various chips, cookies, and sugary drinks. Knowing the boys, they had probably gone to the grocery store last night and picked out tons of snacks on a whim, not that you were complaining.

“Shouldn’t that be a bit more hidden?” you asked. “I feel like you can’t really sneak any snacks without the whole tour bus knowing.”

“Look around you,” Tyler laughed. “Where else is it supposed to go?”

You turned, looking for any other more secretive spot that could possibly host all of their snacks. It seemed that every open space was already crammed full of supplies and other people’s stuff.

“Yeah,” you sighed. “I guess that is the only spot.”

“Exactly,” Josh said, closing the cabinet. “You’ll get used to not having space soon enough.”

You nodded. Tyler was already moving along, obviously eager to continue the tour.

“Here’s our bathroom,” Tyler said, smacking the door. “I advise using this as few times as you possibly can. It’s a pain.”

“Noted,” you said.

“And back here are all the bunks,” Josh said, pulling back a curtain.

“It’s where we sleep when we aren’t lucky enough to score a hotel room. Or if you need a little mid-day nap.”

“I take a lot of those,” Josh laughed.

“And this one here is yours!” Tyler grinned, pulling back the curtain on one of the middle bunks.

The boys had taken the liberty of covering the little walls of your bunk with dozens of printed out pictures of the two of them. They both started cracking up as soon as they saw the disappointed look on your face.

“Another thing to be aware of, there are lots of pranks on the tour bus,” Josh grinned.

"I should have expected that,” you sighed.

“Plus you get to deal with Josh below you and me above you,” Tyler explained. “And then that’s it! That’s our tour bus.”

“It’s really nice,” you nodded. “I won’t mind spending the next few months here.”

Josh laughed, “You’ll get tired of it pretty quickly. Hotel beds will start to feel like heaven.”

“That’s hard to believe, but I’ll take your word for it.”

Tyler’s phone began to ring, so he stepped off the tour bus. You and Josh walked over to the couch and sat down.

“Are you excited?” he asked.

“Oh yeah,” you smiled. “This is going to be amazing. The only concern I have is that I haven’t really done photography at a concert before.”

“We can run some lights and stuff for you at soundcheck tomorrow. That way you can get the hang of it before the actual show.”

“That’s perfect! Thank you so much.”

“It’s no problem,” Josh shrugged. “I’m excited to see the shots that you get.”

You could feel yourself blushing a little bit at his compliment, “Thank you. I really hope that I don’t let you guys down.”

Josh shook his head, “You aren’t going to let us down, Y/N. You have obvious talent.”

You wanted to argue, but figured it was no use. Instead, you settled for a, “Thanks.”

Tyler walked back onto the tour bus, phone still in hand.

“That was the tour manager. They want us to get going soon, so we should pack up.”

Josh nodded and turned to you, “Time to learn how to lock up the bus.”

You spent the next twenty minutes alternating between following Tyler and Josh. They showed you all the things that needed to be done before you left: securing the cabinets, packing up everybody’s suitcases, and locking doors, among other things. It seemed like there was a million little things that needed to be done, but they explained that it wasn’t as stressful when there were more people to help out.

“Now what?” you asked.

“We’re waiting on a couple more people, and then it’s time to leave,” Josh smiled.

Your stomach twisted a bit when Josh said that, although you were pretty sure it was more excitement than nerves. There was so much of the country that you had yet to see, and now you were going to hit some of the biggest cities in a matter of months. It was hard for you to believe that just last week you had been on your ex’s couch thinking that you would never even be able to get out of Ohio.

Ten minutes later, a whole crowd of new people arrived on the bus. Tyler and Josh introduced each of them to you, explaining exactly what it was that each of them was in charge of. You shook each of their hands and tried your best to put names to faces.

“Are we ready?” the bus driver called.

Tyler looked around at everyone, who nodded or put their thumbs up.

“We’re ready!” he answered.

The engine roared to life, and before you knew it you were pulling away from the curb. You sat on the couch and looked out the window up at the apartment building that you had called home. Now you would never have to see it again.

“This is it,” Josh said, taking a seat on the couch next to you. He leaned down to see what you were looking at.

“Yeah,” you smiled. “This is it.”


	7. Chapter 7

****

“How are you feeling?” you asked.

Josh stopped looking in the mirror and turned to face you. “Nervous,” he laughed.

“Me too,” you smiled.

Josh had offered for you to come sit in his dressing room while he got ready for the show. You had gladly accepted, happy to not have to deal with your anxieties alone on the quiet tour bus. The morning had quickly taught you how hectic tour life can be.

“Do you have your security badge?” he asked.

“Yeah, it’s right here.” You held it up.

“Good. Don’t lose that.”

“I wasn’t planning on it. Not all of us get the luxury of security recognizing our faces at first glance.”

“I’m assuming you haven’t heard Tyler’s security story, then?”

“No?”

“Ask him sometime. You won’t regret it.”

“Noted.”

Josh leaned forward and messed with something on his face for a moment. You fiddled with your camera, triple checking all the settings.

“Did you get some good shots during soundcheck today?”

“Yeah, a lot of good ones! I’m so curious as to what the actual show is going to be like now,” you smiled.

“You’re going to love it. Tyler has such good stage presence.”

“Didn’t he mention that he likes climbing stuff?”

Josh laughed, “Yeah, he does when he has the opportunity. There will be plenty of chances for you to get photos of that.”

“And you too! You’re both in the band, you know.”

“Yeah,” he smiled nervously.

Josh walked across the room and grabbed the hoodie he needed. There was still five minutes until everyone had to get to their places, but it was obvious that he was growing more anxious by the second.

“Hey, you’re going to be fine, Josh.”

He turned to look at you, followed closely by the little smirk that he always seemed to do. You smiled, hoping that it would provide some reassurance. Sure, you two had only known each other a short time, but you liked to think that you had each other’s backs.

“I always get so nervous before the first show. What if I’ve forgotten all the songs?” he laughed nervously.

“Haven’t you and Tyler been practicing nonstop?”

“Yeah, but you never know,” he shrugged.

“You’re going to be fine. And if you get nervous, just look at me and I can give you a thumbs up or something.”

He laughed at that, “Thanks, Y/N/N.”

Your heart skipped a beat at the nickname that he and Tyler had come up with for you. It had happened when you and the rest of the tour crew were playing card games. Tyler had claimed that they should give you a nickname to make you feel more like a part of the tour crew. Thus, Y/N/N was born.

“Anytime.”

Tyler walked past the doorway, whistling to himself. Josh called after him, and a few moments later Tyler had joined the two of you.

“What’s up?” Tyler asked.

“You ready?”

“Ready as I’ll ever be,” he smiled.

“Hey, you two, get together,” you waved a hand at them.

Tyler walked over and threw an arm around Josh. It was going to be a nice photo until Josh made a face, prompting Tyler to do the same. You laughed as you took a quick picture.

“Thanks, guys.”

“Hey! Time to get moving!” someone called.

“That’s our cue,” Tyler said, pulling on a ski mask.

“A ski mask?” you asked.

“You’ll see,” Josh winked before pulling on his own.

You watched as the boys ran out of the room before you grabbed your things and headed your own way. It would be good for you to get a few test shots before the actual show started.

 

You were still in shock as you walked backstage, covered in red confetti, to find the boys after the show. That was hands down one of the best concerts that you had ever seen--photographer or not--and you were in awe that you had the opportunity to be on tour with them. Today was only the first show and you were anxious to see what they had in store for the rest of the tour.

The boys were in Tyler’s dressing room, having just changed into their normal clothes. They smiled as you walked into the room.

“What did you think?” Tyler grinned.

“That was phenomenal. I’m blown away.”

“You think so?” Josh asked.

“No doubt! I was so busy trying to take in everything that was happening that I nearly forgot to take photos,” you laughed.

“I can’t wait to see your photos,” Josh smiled. Tyler nodded in agreement.

“So, what now?”

Tyler was the one to answer, “Collect our things, lock up the bus, and hit the road.”

You nodded, “Let’s do it.”

The three of you gathered all the clothes and supplies from the dressing rooms and carried it back to the bus. Tyler and Josh immediately collapsed onto the couch, but you grabbed your laptop and started to import photos. The more work you did now, the less behind you would end up feeling later.

“Hey, Y/N/N,” Josh said.

“Yeah?”

“Why don’t you bring your laptop over here? We can look through the photos together.”

“Ok.”

You picked up all your things and waddled over to the couch, taking a place between Tyler and Josh. They each scooted in and looked over your shoulder as you begin to cycle through your photos, marking your favorites.

“I like that one,” Tyler said, pointing to one where Josh was doing a backflip off the piano.

“Yeah, that’s a good one,” you said.

Tyler eventually grew too tired to keep looking through photos, so he called it a night and headed off to his bunk. Josh stayed on the couch with you, saying that he wanted to keep you company for as long as he could. You were determined to finish editing at least a small handful of photos before you called it a night.

“How far are you?” Josh asked.

He had given up on trying to sit up straight and was now laying down at the end of the couch, eyes closed as he tightly clutched a pillow to his chest.

“Just started editing,” you answered.

He groaned and adjusted himself slightly.

“You can go to bed if you want, Josh. I’ll be fine on my own.”

“No, I’m staying here,” he said.

“If you insist.” You reached out and gave his calf a light pat.

He started snoring about five minutes later. You looked over at him all curled up on the couch, unable to stop yourself from staring. He looked so peaceful in his baggy t-shirt and basketball shorts, mouth hanging partially open. His hair was pressed flat against his head from the hat he had worn for most of the concert. You wondered how someone could look so effortlessly beautiful.

He stirred slightly, causing you to whip your head back around to your laptop. The last thing you wanted was to be caught staring at him. Thankfully, he only adjusted slightly and immediately went back to snoring.

By the time that you got halfway through the photos, your own eyelids were so heavy that you were having troubles focusing. Josh was still passed out on the couch next to you, and everyone else had long since gone to bed. You figured that was enough for the night and the rest of the photos could wait until the morning.

“Hey, Josh,” you said, nudging his leg.

“Huh?”

“It’s time to actually go to bed.”

“Did you finish the photos?”

“I finished all the ones that I wanted to get done, yeah.”

“Ok, let’s go.”

Josh slowly got up off the couch and walked to his bunk. You followed and got into your own, pulling the blanket up around you. All the pictures around you were a bit unsettling, but you were quickly getting used to them.

“Hey, Y/N,” Josh said from below you.

“What?” you whispered.

“Nice job today.”

A hand appeared just inside your bunk curtain. You gave him a quick fist bump.

“You too.”

“Goodnight.”

“Night.”

You closed your eyes and relived the concert as you began to fall asleep. That slowly turned into admiring how Josh had looked on stage. Then it became how cute he had looked as he was sleeping on the couch.

Your eyes shot open as the realization hit you. There was no denying it anymore, not after all the thoughts that had made their way through your mind that night. It didn’t take a genius to figure out that you had feelings for Josh. Strong feelings.

Now you just had to figure out what the hell you were going to do about it.


	8. Chapter 8

“Are you ready for another amazing day on tour?” was the first thing that you heard when you woke up that morning. Tyler was the one who had said it, as he had a habit of doing when you slept in late.

“No,” you mumbled as you clambered out of your bunk.

“Hey, we are not going to tolerate that attitude on this tour bus,” Tyler said, pointing a finger at you.

“What are you going to do, throw me off?” you laughed.

“He’ll do it,” Josh said as he took a bite of his cereal.

“I will!”

You shook your head as you grabbed your change of clothes and slid into the bathroom. Getting dressed in the bathroom was a pain, but it was better than changing in front of everyone on the tour bus, even if you did have a bad habit of bumping your elbows into the walls.

“Shoot,” you muttered as you did it yet again while pulling on your sweatshirt.

“You ok in there?” Josh called.

“Funny bone!” you answered.

You walked out of the bathroom and tossed your pajamas into your bunk. Tyler and Josh were at the table, eating their breakfasts and looking over their phones.

“Hey, Y/N/N,” Tyler said. “Come check this out.”

“What?”

Tyler held out his phone for you to look at. It was a tweet that he had made earlier that morning with some of the photos you had taken at last night’s show. The tweet had hit nearly five thousand likes already, which seemed crazy to you.

“No way,” you smiled, grabbing his phone. “Five thousand likes in two hours?”

“People really like your photos.”

You shook your head, “I’ll never get used to that.”

Just seeing your twitter handle on a tweet with that many likes was amazing to you. It was nice to know that people were loving what you were doing just as much as you were.

“What are you doing?” Josh asked as you opened up the breakfast cupboard.

“Making myself breakfast?”

“No, wait!” he said, temporarily abandoning his cereal.

“What?”

He walked off towards the back of the bus. You looked at Tyler, who only smiled at you. Josh returned a few moments later, carrying a white box in his hands.

“What is that?” you asked.

He set the box down on the table near Tyler. You walked over just as he opened the top of it. Inside was a cake that said “Happy One Month of Tour!”

“Happy first month of touring!” Tyler and Josh said together.

You couldn’t help the smile on your face, “For me?”

“Who else?” Tyler laughed.

“We wanted to celebrate you surviving your first month on tour with us. It’s not an easy task,” Josh added.

“Thank you,” you smiled, giving each of them a hug.

“Aren’t you going to eat your cake?” Tyler asked as you walked back over to the breakfast cupboard.

“I can’t have cake for breakfast!” you laughed.

“Sure you can!” he said. “We’re on tour.”

You shook your head, “I’m going to have some cereal, and then we can all share my celebratory cake.”

“Fine,” Tyler sighed. “But only because that means I get to have cake too.”

 

You were hard at working editing photos at the table. The boys were on the other side of the room, quietly doing their own thing. Tyler appeared to be working on lyrics and Josh was on his phone, although he looked pretty close to falling asleep.

Since it had grown so quiet, you decided to listen to some music while you worked. You grabbed your bag from beside your feet and began to fish around at the bottom of your bag for your headphones. Instead, your hand came into contact with a piece of paper. Curious as to what it was, you pulled it out and unfolded it.

_ Y/N, _

You recognized Matthew’s handwriting immediately. The letter was from a year or two ago; it had been one that you used to read when you were worried that Matthew didn’t love you. Knowing what you knew now, the concept made you laugh.

_ You know that I’m not very good with words, but I wanted to write you this letter to celebrate our third anniversary. In the time that we’ve been together, you have made me the happiest guy in the world. I look forward to every minute that I get to spend with you, even if it’s something as simple as doing homework together in the library.  _

_ Before I met you, I felt like there was nobody in this world that really understood me. Then you came along and took the time to learn all of my weird habits and quirks. What’s even crazier to me is that you love me because of them, not in spite of them. If you ask me, that’s pretty special.  _

_ I don’t think words will ever be able to describe the way that you make me feel, although I’ll try. Your smile is infectious. Your laugh is contagious. I could stare at you for hours and never get bored. I love that we can talk for hours about the simplest and weirdest things. That’s something that’s rare nowadays. You never fail to make me laugh, and that’s something that I will be endlessly thankful for. _

_ You are the stars in my sky, the sun to my moon, and the reason I wake up in the morning. I’m so happy that I get to call you mine, and it’s a concept that I’m not sure that I will ever get used to. I hope that I’m never dumb enough to let you go. _

_ Ok, that’s enough of me being cheesy. But really, I love you so much, Y/N. I can’t wait for what the future has in store for us. _

_ Much love, _

_ Matthew _

You crumpled up the paper and tossed it across the room into the trash can, hoping that you never had to look at it again. Knowing him, he had probably pulled that off of some website and passed it off as his own. He had never been the romantic type.

“What was that?” Josh asked.

“A letter from my ex.”

“From recently?”

“No. I used to keep it in my bag to read when I was feeling down. I had forgotten about it until just now.”

He nodded and went back to looking at his phone. You remembered what you had originally set out to do and went back to digging around in your bag for headphones.

“Wait, that was a letter from your ex?” Tyler asked.

“Yeah. It was weird to read again. I realized how much better I’m doing now,” you explained.

“Good,” he smiled. “I’m glad. Hey, Josh, what do you think of this?”

You continued to edit photos as you half listened to the poetry that Tyler was performing for Josh. Your hand was beginning to cramp up from editing photos for so long, so you decided to take a break and make yourself some lunch.

“You guys want anything?” you asked as you grabbed ingredients.

“I’m good,” Josh said.

“Me too.”

“Ok.”

You made yourself a sandwich and then walked over to the couch. Josh moved his legs so that you had room to sit, but was quick to put them right back over you when you made yourself comfortable. He smiled innocently at you when you gave him a look.

“Are you guys excited for the show tonight?”

“Yeah, but I’m even more excited for our day off tomorrow,” Josh answered.

“I thought we had Tuesday off?”

“Nope, tomorrow,” Tyler answered.

You nodded and took a bite of your sandwich. 

“Hey, look at this,” Josh said, passing his phone to you.

You grabbed his phone and watched the video. It was a fan edit made using your photos from the concert.

“That’s really cool,” you smiled. “I’m so glad that your fans are liking the pictures that I’m taking.”

Josh nodded and took his phone back from you.

“Ok, guys, listen to this,” Tyler said.

You and Josh both listened as Tyler recited what he had written. Moments like this had grown to be your favorite, when it was just you and the boys relaxing on the bus or after a show. It was almost like being young again, hanging out with your best friends and not having a care in the world. 

“That’s really good, Ty,” you said.

“You think so?”

“I agree,” Josh chimed in. “We should try to get that on the next album.”

Tyler nodded and made a little mark in his notebook before flipping through the pages. You finished your sandwich and got back up to wash your plate.

“How are the photos coming?” Josh asked.

“I’m almost done with last night’s,” you said, taking a seat at your computer once again.

Josh got up and walked over to where you were sitting, leaning over your shoulder so that he could see.

“These are looking really good, although I guess that shouldn’t really come as a surprise,” he smiled.

“Thanks,” you said, trying your hardest not to blush.

“Y/N/N, do you mind sending me some of your favorites when you’re done? I’m going to try and get another tweet out tonight.”

“Yeah, no problem, Ty.”

Josh went back to laying on the couch and you plugged in your headphones so that you could start focusing. You were getting closer to the next venue, meaning that you would have to pack up and help out the rest of the crew. It was a routine that you had quickly gotten used to.

One month of tour down, two to go.


	9. Chapter 9

You woke up to the sound of someone knocking on your hotel door. The clock on the other side of the room read 2:35, so you figured it had to be important. After an incident a couple weeks back, the crew had quickly learned not to wake you up unless it was an emergency.

You pulled on a jacket as you shuffled towards the door, hoping it made you look a little more put together.

“What’s going on?” you grumbled, eyes still blurry from sleep.

“Good, you’re awake,” Josh smiled.

You made a face. The state that you were in could hardly be called “awake”.

“We’re going on an adventure,” Tyler chimed in.

You blinked a couple more times just to make sure that you weren’t seeing things.

“What?”

“We’re stealing one of the tech vans and going on an adventure,” Josh explained further.

“Stealing?”

“It’s not  _ actually _ stealing,” Tyler said, shooting Josh a look. “We own the van.”

“Yeah, but it’s more fun to say we stole it,” he grumbled.

“Why are we doing this?”

“Tomorrow is our day off which means management won’t be mad if we sleep in,” Josh smiled.

You sighed, “Let me grab my shoes.”

Both of the boys smiled at this. You quickly slipped on your shoes and grabbed your room key.

 

“It’s this one!” Josh whispered, pointing to a van up ahead.

He pulled the keys out of his pocket and unlocked it, causing the lights to flash for a brief moment. You pulled your jacket tighter around you as you crossed the parking lot, eager to get inside the warm car. Tyler snuck ahead and jumped into the passenger seat before you could get to it.

“It’s freezing in here,” you muttered as you reached for the seatbelt.

“I’m working on it!” Josh said. 

He was bent low over the steering wheel, trying to figure out how to turn on the car. Tyler was staring him down, his own hands shaking a bit from the cold.

“Here,” Tyler said, grabbing the keys out of Josh’s hands.

Within seconds of Tyler taking the keys, the engine was running and the heater was starting to blow hot air into the car. You leaned forward between the two seats, eager to start warming up your freezing hands.

“What’s the plan?” you asked.

“Snacks, first,” Tyler said.

“Then we explore,” Josh added with a smile.

Five minutes later, the three of you were pulling into the parking lot of a nearby mini-mart. You followed the boys across the parking lot, trying not to laugh at how out of place they looked in their pajama pants and sweatshirts. It was nearly three in the morning, after all.

“What should we get?” Tyler asked, already heading for the snack aisle.

The cashier behind the counter was eyeing the three of you as you moved through the store, grabbing various bags and canisters.

“Get some of those,” you said, pointing to your favorite chips.

“Ok, I think we have enough,” Josh said, looking down at the pile of food in his arms.

Tyler looked down at his pile too, “Agreed.”

You followed the two of them up to the counter, trying to ignore the judgmental stare of the cashier. Your hands had started to shake from the cold again, so you pulled your sleeves down over your hands a bit further.

“Do you want a bag?” the cashier asked. The three of you shared a couple looks.

“I think we’re ok,” Tyler answered.

“Ok, have a nice night.”

“You too!” you called over your shoulder as the boys scooped up your purchases.

“You doing alright, Y/N/N?” Josh asked. “You’re shaking pretty bad.”

“It’s cold,” you shrugged. “I’ve never dealt with being cold very well.”

“One sec,” he said.

Josh pulled the keys out of his pocket and unlocked the car, running forward so that he could dump all the food that he was carrying into the backseat. By the time that you had made it to the car, he had pulled his sweatshirt off.

“What are you doing?” you asked.

“Take it.”

“Are you kidding? I’m not going to steal your sweatshirt. It’s freezing.”

“You’re shaking, Y/N. Trust me, I’ll be fine.”

“I’m not taking it.”

“Well I’m not getting into the car until you take it, so the longer you refuse then the colder I get.”

Knowing that he couldn’t be convinced otherwise, you reached forward and took the sweatshirt with one shaking hand. It was still warm from Josh’s body heat, which proved to be quite helpful in warming your hands back up. You could just barely smell his cologne too, which was nice.

“Get the heater going!” Tyler groaned, smacking the dash impatiently.

“Chill, dude,” Josh laughed as he started the engine. 

“That’s the problem,” he groaned. “I’m too chill. Besides, not all of us get to steal your sweatshirt.”

“You get shotgun so it’s only fair I get his sweatshirt,” you chimed in,

“Exactly,” Josh said, although his cheeks were a bit more pink than they had been before.

“So, now what?” you asked.

“We’re going to drive through the city and see what there is to see,” Tyler answered.

“Sweet.”

 

Your nose was practically pressed up to the glass window of the van as you looked up at the towering buildings of the city. Brightly lit signs and late-night partygoers whizzed by on the streets as Josh drove along. The car was quiet, save for the calm music that Tyler had started playing, as the three of you took in the sights.

“You doing alright, Josh?” Tyler asked.

You pulled yourself away from the window to look at Josh, curious as to what was going on. He did look a bit out of it, which was concerning considering he was driving.

“I’m just getting a bit tired,” he sighed.

“I’m on it,” Tyler said.

For a moment you were worried that Tyler was going to slap him straight across the face, but he only grabbed his phone. The music switched from the chill songs that been playing to the playlist that the boys always listened to before shows to get hyped up. Josh immediately looked more awake as he began to bob his head along to the song. Tyler reached forward and turned the volume up so that you could barely hear yourself think.

“How are you feeling?” Tyler yelled over the music.

“Better!” Josh answered, equally as loud.

“Y/N/N?” he asked, turning to you.

You held up a thumb, unwilling to try and scream over the music. Tyler nodded and returned your thumbs up.

You tried not to laugh too hard as Josh and Tyler performed a duet in the front seat. Tyler was going all in, running his hand along Josh’s arm as he sang to him. Josh was trying his best to keep a straight face as he sang his part, although he did crack the occasional smile.

At one point, Tyler decided to open the window in order to serenade some people on the street. Cold air immediately rushed into the car and within seconds Tyler was rolling the window back up. He had hardly gotten an entire sentence out.

“Bad idea,” he said, shaking his head. “Bad idea.”

“What did you expect?” you laughed.

“Not that, apparently,” he smiled.

You pulled out your phone to check the time. It was now close to five in the morning, meaning that the three of you had been out for close to two hours.

“Hey,” you said, tapping Tyler’s shoulder and motioning for him to turn the music down. “It’s almost five, we should probably head back to the hotel.”

“It’s our day off, who cares if we’re out late?” Tyler said.

“Just because you guys get the day off doesn’t mean that I do. There’s still tons of photos to edit and a day off is the perfect time to catch up.”

“Y/N/N has a point,” Josh chimed in.

Tyler sighed, “Fine, but only because I care about you.”

“Thanks.”

 

Josh turned and headed back towards the hotel. You leaned back in your seat and stared out at the buildings, singing along quietly to the music. Even though you knew you would be exhausted tomorrow, you were enjoying being out with the boys. Matthew had never taken you out on spontaneous trips like this, and it was nice to feel like you were really experiencing life.

Josh pulled back into the parking lot of the hotel. The three of you climbed out of the car, trying your best to make it look like it had never left the parking lot.

“There, they’ll never suspect a thing,” Josh smiled as he shut the car door.

“Don’t you think they’ll notice that a ton of gas is suddenly missing?” you asked.

The boys shared a look. Obviously this wasn’t a possibility that they had considered.

“We’ll deal with that tomorrow,” Tyler grinned.

You shuffled into the hotel lobby, exhaustion once again beginning to take hold of you. The boys didn’t seem much better. Josh looked like he could fall asleep on the spot.

“I’ll see you guys in the morning,” you said as you arrived at your door. “Or later today, I guess.”

“Goodnight, Y/N.”

“Yeah, goodnight.”

You closed the door behind you and kicked off your shoes. Your hotel room was a lot warmer than outside had been, so you went to take off your jacket. It took you a moment to remember that Josh had given you his sweatshirt.

_ Josh’s sweatshirt _ .

You grabbed it from where you had tossed it on the bed alongside your jacket, ready to take it back to his room, but you hesitated. He wouldn’t miss his sweatshirt for one night. Besides, he was probably already in bed fast asleep.

You pulled the sweatshirt back on over your t-shirt and crawled into bed. Your alarm was set to go off at nine am and you needed all the sleep that you could get. The boys would no doubt try to rope you into another crazy adventure tomorrow, not that you would mind. They had quickly become your best friends.

A smile crept onto your face as you started to drift off to sleep. Tonight had been good.


	10. Chapter 10

You fiddled with your camera settings for probably the hundredth time that night. It was the only thing you knew to do when you were anxious, and tonight the anxieties were running high. It was the final night of the first leg of the tour. The last three months had flown by much faster than you had anticipated, meaning that you hadn’t figured out where you would be staying when you returned to Ohio.

“You doing alright over there, Y/N/N?” Josh asked.

“Yeah. I just have a lot on my mind,” you sighed.

He walked over to where you were sitting on the couch and plopped down next to you, putting a hand on your shoulder, “It’s the last night of tour, you’re supposed to be excited!”

“I know,” you said, forcing a smile. “And I am excited, there’s just a lot of other things that I need to worry about.”

“You can worry about all that stuff tomorrow. Tonight is about celebrating.”

You nodded, which seemed to appease Josh. He stood back up and walked over to the other side of the dressing room to grab his hat.

“It’s weird to think we won’t be together constantly for a whole week, huh?” you said, masking your nervousness with a laugh.

“I’m sure we’ll see each other plenty,” he said. “You’ll actually have free time.”

“That will be nice. It feels like the work has been never-ending since we left.”

“That’s tour,” Josh grinned, adjusting the hat on his head.

Tyler suddenly appeared in the doorway, already in his full suit and black paint. He casually walked into the room and flopped down onto the couch next to you, taking up a surprising amount of space.

“What’s going on in here?” he asked.

“What does it look like?” you said, fiddling with your lens cap yet again.

“It looks like you two aren’t anywhere near as hyped as you should be for tonight’s show.”

“Sorry,” you mumbled.

Josh looked at you, eyebrows furrowed, “Are you sure you’re doing alright, Y/N?”

Tyler turned to look at you too. You glanced between the two of them and let out a sigh.

“I’m stressed because I have no idea where I’m going to go once we get back to Ohio. There’s no way Matthew would let me stay with him again and I don’t have enough time to find a place to rent, especially when we’re just going to be leaving again in a week.”

“Stay with one of us,” Tyler shrugged as if it was the most casual thing in the world.

You looked to Josh, who nodded in agreement, “I’ve got a spare room that could easily work as a place for you to stay.”

“For real?”

“Of course,” Tyler said. “You’re basically family now, and family takes care of each other.”

He threw an arm around your shoulders and pulled you into his side. You couldn’t keep the smile off of your face; it was nice to know that Tyler and Josh viewed you as an important part of their lives even outside of tour.

“That’s more like it,” Josh said, noticing the smile on your face.

“That’s a huge weight off my chest. Thank you so much, guys.”

“It’s no problem.”

Josh checked his watch and looked to Tyler, who wordlessly took the hint.

“Alright. Last show of this leg, let’s go rock this thing,” Tyler said, removing his arm from your shoulder and standing up.

You followed the boys out of the room, only stopping for a moment to take a picture of them walking down the hall with their arms wrapped around one another.

 

“That was amazing!” Tyler beamed as he stepped onto the tour bus. “That couldn’t have gone better.”

Josh was close behind him with just as big of a smile on his face. They both dumped their stuff into a corner and joined you on the couch.

“What did you think, Y/N/N?”

“Definitely one of the best shows,” you smiled. “You should see some of the photos that I got tonight.”

“I can’t wait,” he grinned.

“Now what?” you asked.

Tyler was the one to answer, “We head back towards Ohio and celebrate surviving the first leg.”

You nodded and leaned further back into the couch, taking full advantage of the fact that you didn’t need to immediately start editing photos. Tyler had been quick to lay down and close his eyes, meanwhile Josh was next to you scrolling through his phone.

“Is this how you guys celebrate?” you asked.

“Pretty much,” Josh laughed. “Think about it, we finally have a break from all the chaos of the last three months. Are you really telling me that you’re not tempted to take a nice nap right now?”

“I guess I am,” you said. “I still feel like I should be editing photos, though. It’s basically a habit at this point.”

“Relax, Y/N/N,” Tyler chimed in, poking you lightly with his foot. “We’re on vacation.”

“I know,” you sighed, pushing yourself up from the couch. “Do you either of you want a root beer float to celebrate?”

“Yes,” Josh smiled excitedly.

“Ty?”

His face scrunched up for a moment as he debated his answer, “Sure.”

“Ok, three root beer floats coming right up.”

The three of you spent the rest of the night joking around and drinking root beer floats until your stomachs were sick. For the first time during the entire tour so far, you felt completely at peace. It was nice to not have the pressure of editing photos looming over your head.

Eventually, Tyler decided to call it a night and disappeared towards his bunk. You were leaned on the back of the couch, watching as dark shapes passed by the window outside. Stars were just visible in the sky above.

“What are you thinking about, Y/N?” Josh said.

The sound of his voice caused you to jump a bit. You hadn’t heard him move next to you from the other side of the room, not to mention that you had been lost in thought.

“A lot of things, I guess.”

“Like what?”

You turned to face him, “It’s just so crazy how much my life changed in the last few months. One moment I thought I was going to get married and settled down in Ohio and a week later I’m traveling the country taking photos for a band. It’s just weird to think how different everything would be if I hadn’t tried to dye my hair.”

This put a smile on Josh’s face, “Your orange hair was so bad.”

“Shut up,” you laughed, reaching over and giving his arm a light shove.

“In all seriousness though, are you enjoying being our photographer?”

“Are you kidding? This is the best job I could have asked for. Don’t tell people back home, but I think I like this more than what I was doing in California.”

“Really?”

“Oh yeah. Taking pictures of your live shows is way more compelling than newborn babies and engaged couples.”

Josh nodded, “You don’t get tired of the same thing every night?”

“Not at all. You guys manage to keep it interesting.”

“That’s good to hear,” he grinned.

You turned to look back out the window, “It’s true.”

There was a pause in the conversation. You were unsure if Josh was going to say something else, so your brain was quickly scrambling for something else to say. Thankfully, Josh broke the silence.

“Have you decided who you’re going to stay with when we get back?”

“Why? Are you scared I’m going to steal your spare room?” you laughed, turning back to him.

“No,” he smiled. “I was just curious.”

“I hadn’t really put much thought into it. I guess I should probably make a choice considering we’ll be back tomorrow morning.”

“Yeah, maybe.’

“Are you guys sure you don’t mind me staying with you? I can book a flight back to California and stay there for the week, if need be.”

Josh smiled and shook his head, “It isn’t a big deal at all. Besides, I don’t want to have to go a whole week without seeing you.”

“Even after spending three months with me?”

“Especially after spending three months with you.”

You quickly turned towards the window to hide the blush that was overtaking your cheeks. It was taking all of your concentration to not start smiling like an idiot in front of him.

“I’m glad you’re not tired of me,” you said.

“Honestly, it’s hard for me to get tired of you.”

You were about to say something else, but you were interrupted by a very tired looking Tyler appearing where you were sitting. His hair was sticking out at all angles and there were bags under his eyes.

“Can you two bring it down a bit? This bus isn’t huge and you two are being loud.”

“Sorry, Ty,” Josh said, checking his watch. “I should probably actually head to bed myself.”

“What time is it?” you asked.

“Almost one in the morning. Are you heading to bed too?”

“Nah, I think I’m going to stay out here for awhile.”

“Make sure to get some good sleep,” Tyler said before disappearing again.

“Yeah, what he said,” Josh smiled.

“I will, I promise.”

“Good.”

You turned back towards the window and returned to watching the passing shapes. There were a lot of things for you to think about.


	11. Chapter 11

****

You were sitting on the couch, scrolling through your phone, when the front door swung open. Josh walked inside, carrying a variety of bags in his arms. He smiled once he saw you.

“Morning, Y/N/N,” he smiled.

“Where have you been all day?” you asked.

“I had some errands to run. Groceries and training and stuff.”

You nodded and got up to follow him into the kitchen. He had set all of his bags on the counter and you began to look through them all to see what kind of food he had brought home.

Living with Josh had turned out to be a lot less stressful that you had expected. It had only been a couple days since you arrived home from tour, but it was already much better than living with Matthew. Aside from the fact that Josh’s house was much bigger, he was also a much better roommate. Not to mention that you were happy to have so much alone time with him.

“I got you a present,” he grinned.

Your eyebrows furrowed, “What did you get?”

He reached into one of the bags and pulled out a small plant in a little clay pot. A smile quickly spread across your face.

“I know your room still doesn’t have that many decorations in it and when I saw this, it just reminded me of you. The best part is that it’s fake, so it won’t die when we have to leave next week.”

“I love it,” you smiled, reaching out and taking it from him. “I’ll go put it in my room right now.”

You walked down the hallway, carrying the small little plant in your hands. It would be nice to finally have something in your room besides furniture and a few pictures. After a quick glance around the room, you decided that it was best suited on your bedside table near the lamp. 

“Did you find a place for it?” Josh asked as you walked back into the kitchen.

“Yeah, it’s on the bedside table.”

“Nice,” he smiled.

You tried not to stare at him too long, but it was hard when he had that adorable smile on his face. Your feelings had only continued to grow stronger as the tour went along, and now you found yourself admiring almost any little thing he did. It was starting to take over your mind.

“Do you want any help with the groceries?” you asked.

He looked over his shoulder at all the food for a moment, “Uh, sure. Do you know where stuff goes?”

“Not really,” you laughed as you grabbed a bag of chips.

“Great,” Josh laughed along with you.

“Hey, if I’m going to be living her for an indefinite amount of time, then I need to learn where everything goes eventually.”

“I suppose that’s better than you using not knowing where anything goes as an excuse to not help around the house,” Josh said as he put some food in one of the taller cabinets.

“Exactly! Now where do these go?”

“Second shelf,” he said, pointing to a cupboard on the other side of the kitchen.

You hummed quietly to yourself as you continued to put away things that you knew the place of. It wasn’t much, but Josh seemed to appreciate the help.

“Oh, Y/N/N,” Josh said suddenly.

“Yeah?”

Josh grabbed the last bit of groceries, so you gathered up the bags and put them with the others.

“One of our friends is having a party tomorrow to celebrate the success of the first part of the tour. Would you be interested in going?”

You grabbed the end of your shirt and began to play with it, “Is Tyler going?”

“Yeah. He’s going to be the designated driver, if that influences your decision at all.”

“I don’t know,” you sighed. “I’ve never been big on parties.”

Josh pulled puppy dog eyes on you and dramatically stuck out his bottom lip, “Please, Y/N/N?”

“Josh, I don’t know.”

“It won’t be as much fun without you.”

How were you supposed to say no to that?

“Alright, I’ll go to the party.”

“Yes,” Josh grinned. He walked around the counter and put an arm around you, pulling you into his side, “We’re going to have a great time.”

“If not, you owe me ten bucks,” you grinned, ducking under Josh’s arm and heading back towards the living room.

“If it’s really that bad, then you can just have Tyler drop you off back here. The party can’t be more than a twenty minute drive away.”

“You’ve already convinced me, Josh. Don’t make me change my mind.”

Josh nodded and pretended to zip his mouth closed. You took a seat on the couch but Josh remained standing, looking lost in thought.

“You alright?” you asked.

He blinked a couple times, “Yeah, I’m good. I’m going to head upstairs and shower.”

“Don’t have too much fun without me.”

You winced as soon as the words left your mouth. Leave it to you to say something embarrassing like that.

“No promises,” he smirked, shooting you a quick wink.

You were suddenly very glad that his back was to you so that he wouldn’t see the blush on your cheeks.

 

“Let’s do something,” Josh said from the other end of the couch.

“Huh?” you asked, looking up from the book that you were reading.

“Let’s do something,” he repeated, looking straight at you. “It’s only noon, we have plenty of time to go out and do something.”

“What did you have in mind?”

He shrugged, “I was hoping you would have an idea.”

“I do have an idea,” you grinned, holding up the book in your lap.

“Come on, Y/N/N,” he pouted at you. “We can’t read together.”

“Sure we can. I sit here and read and you sit there and read,” you laughed.

He rolled his eyes and scooted down the couch, grabbing the book from your lap and tossing it onto the coffee table.

“Josh!” you grumbled. “I lost my page.”

“That’s what you get for being difficult,” he laughed, shoving your leg lightly.

“Let me go grab a sweatshirt and I’ll try and come up with some ideas.”

You grabbed your book off the table and headed down the hallway towards your room. Since you were still relatively new to Ohio, you didn’t really have any ideas about what to do in Columbus. Josh should be the one coming up with ideas. He had lived here all his life, after all.

You tossed your book onto the bed and walked over to the dresser. Your black tour hoodie was sitting at the top of the drawer, so you grabbed that and pulled it on over your shirt. It was cheesy to wear your employer’s sweatshirt--especially when you were walking around with one of them--, but it kept you warm so you didn’t mind.

“Nice sweatshirt,” Josh laughed as you walked back into the room.

“Shut up,” you grinned, taking a seat on the couch. “Did you come up with any ideas?”

“No. Did you?”

You shook your head, “Is Tyler free today?”

“I have no idea, but I, uh, I was kind of thinking we could hang out just the two of us today?”

Your heart skipped a beat, “I’d like that. We just have to think of something first.”

“Yeah,” he smiled.

“Alright, there has to be some place in Columbus that you want to show me. We’ve already been to your favorite pizza place. Where else do you like to go?”

Josh turned to you with wide eyes, “Y/N/N, you’re a genius!”

“I am?”

“Yeah, I know exactly where we’re going to go,” he said, standing up from the couch. “Let me grab a jacket.”

You got up and pulled on your shoes while you waited for Josh. He returned a few moments later, now wearing a plain hoodie over his dark jeans.

“Are you going to tell me where we’re going?” you asked.

“Nope,” he grinned, grabbing his keys and pulling on his own shoes. “Come on.”

You followed Josh out to the car and hopped into the passenger seat, hoping that it wasn’t a mistake.

 

You arrived at your destination twenty minutes later. Josh had a huge smile on his face as he got out of the car and led you towards the building in front of you.

“Where are we?” you asked, looking around for any sign that would indicate where you were.

“You don’t know?” Josh asked. You shook your head. “I thought for sure that Matthew would have taken you here when you moved This is one of the most popular places in Columbus.”

“Are you kidding?” you scoffed. “Matthew never took me anywhere.”

“Well this is the Franklin Park Conservatory,” Josh said, glancing back over his shoulder at you. “I think you’ll like it.”

You bounced on your toes while you waited for Josh to buy you two entry. A few people gave you weird looks, but you brushed it off. 

“Do you trust me?” Josh asked, looking to you with one eyebrow raised.

“Of course I do,” you answered, trying to mask the nervousness in your voice.

“Close your eyes.”

Your eyebrows furrowed, “Why?”

He smiled, “You have to trust me.”

You nodded and closed your eyes. Josh reached out and gently grabbed one of your wrists, guiding your hand up to wrap around his arm. Even though you had been in close contact with Josh numerous times before, there was something about not being able to see what was going on that was making you extra nervous.

“Ready?” he said.

“For what?” you asked, turning in his general direction.

“To walk.”

“Right. Yeah, I’m ready.”

It took you a second to match Josh’s walking pace, but you eventually settled into a comfortable rhythm. Your hand was wrapped tightly around his bicep in order to keep yourself from falling over.

“Where are we going?” you asked.

“You’ll see in a second.”

“Are we almost there?”

“Yes.”

You felt a cool breeze as Josh opened a door. He carefully led you through the doorway, although you still managed to bump your hip into the frame.

“Are people looking at me?” you whispered.

“You’ve gotten a few weird looks, yeah,” Josh laughed.

“Oops,” you laughed nervously, feeling color rise to your cheeks.

“Ok, are you ready to open your eyes?”

“I can open them?”

“Yeah.”

You opened your eyes, blinking a few times to allow them to adjust to the bright light. Once you could see properly, you let out a little gasp. In front of you was a garden full of multicolored flowers and sculptures. People wandered through the plants on little pathways, taking time to admire everything around them. It was one of the most beautiful places you had seen, and you suddenly wished that you had your camera.

“This is amazing!” you beamed, turning to Josh. “I’m so glad you brought me here.”

“You like it?”

“Like it? Josh, this is gorgeous. I wish you had told me to bring my camera.”

“It didn’t even cross my mind.”

“That’s ok,” you said, starting to walk down a nearby path. “It’s just an excuse for us to come back.”

“Exactly.”

 

You and Josh wandered through the conservatory until you eventually got too cold and hungry to keep going. He had suggested that you two pick up some food on the way home and then watch movies all night, to which you had happily agreed. Tyler had also texted asking what you two were up to, and you were excited to spend the night with your two favorite boys.

Even though you had been hesitant to leave the house at first, hanging out with Josh had been a great idea. You two had acted like idiots as you moved throughout the conservatory, cracking jokes at one another’s expense and acting like kids. For awhile, you had forgotten that you two weren’t on a date, even though deep down you knew that Josh didn’t view it the same way.

“Hey, Y/N?” Josh said.

You pulled your eyes away from the window and turned to face him in the driver’s seat, “Yeah?”

“It was fun hanging out with you today.”

“Yeah, I had a really good time. Thanks for taking me to the conservatory.”

“It was no problem,” he smiled. “Kinda nice to go out and do something just the two of us, huh?”

Your stomach flipped, “Yeah, it was.”

Josh smiled and nodded. You turned back to the window and tried your best to hide the huge smile on your face. Maybe you two didn’t feel so different, after all.


	12. Chapter 12

“How do I look?” you asked.

Josh looked up from where he was sitting at the dining room table. His eyes scanned you top to bottom and then he smiled, “You look fantastic, Y/N/N.”

“Thank you,” you beamed. “Is Tyler going to be here soon?”

“Yeah, he texted just a few minutes ago.”

“Perfect. You excited for tonight?”

He shrugged, “It will be nice to see everyone, but it feels kind of weird to go to a party celebrating me.”

“Then don’t think of it like that. Think of it like hanging out with friends.”

“Good idea,” he nodded, smiling at you. “I’ll do that.”

You were interrupted by a knock on the door. Seconds later, it had swung open and Tyler was making his way inside the house.

“Come in,” Josh said sarcastically.

“It’s freezing out there and I wasn’t about to wait for you to come open the door.”

“I would have gotten it!” you chimed in.

“Still not as fast as me walking straight in,” Tyler said, pointing a finger at you.

“You’ve got me there,”

“Are you guys ready to go?”

“Yeah,” Josh said, standing up from his chair. You nodded.

 

You stared out the window for most of the drive, listening to the boys talk and admiring the scenery as you drove past. Being away from Ohio for tour had caused you to appreciate it more. Columbus was a beautiful city, and you were happy that you got to spend some of your time here. It was almost starting to feel like home.

“This is it,” Tyler announced, pulling up against the curb in front of an average looking house.

You hopped out of the car and followed Tyler and Josh up the stone steps that led to the front door. Music was just audible inside, but the party didn’t seem like it was too out of hand. Maybe Josh was right about you having fun.

“Hey! It’s Tyler and Josh!” a guy called as the three of you walked into the house.

The announcement of their arrival was followed by cheering and people walking up to clap them on the back and give them hugs. You were mostly ignored, save for a few people from the tour crew that recognized you and said hi. 

“Come on,” Josh smiled, grabbing your hand and leading you further into the house.

You allowed yourself to be guided by Josh as you looked around the house. Whoever was throwing the party had taken the liberty of printing out dozens of pictures of Tyler and Josh, the band logo, and stills from the most recent music videos and taping them all over the walls. You recognized some of them as pictures that you had taken on the last leg of tour. It was hard not to smile at that.

“Want anything to drink?” Josh asked.

You hadn’t even realized that you had arrived in a kitchen, you had been too busy looking at the “decorations”.

“What do they have?” you asked, looking over Josh’s shoulder into the cooler.

“Lots of stuff.”

“I’ll have one of those,” you said, pointing to a brand of beer that Matthew had always kept in the fridge.

Josh let go of your hand so that he could reach down and grab it for you. He shook some of the ice and water off before he handed it to you.

“Thanks,” you said before reaching for the bottle opener.

Your hopes of a lowkey party soon dissipated as a large group of people came through the front door. The noise in the house immediately doubled and you were struggling to hear the music over the sound of conversations.

Josh had wandered off somewhere, so you decided to locate Tyler. You found him in the living room, talking to someone that you vaguely recognized. He turned and smiled at you as you walked up to him.

“Y/N, this is Ryan. We played basketball together in high school.”

“Hi,” you smiled, reaching forward to shake his hand.

“Nice to meet you,” he said. “You do the tour photography, right?”

“Yep,” you nodded, knowing that wasn’t the last time you would be asked that question tonight.

“I’ve seen your photos. They’re fantastic,” he grinned.

“Thank you,” you said, taking a sip of your beer.

Tyler and Ryan finished up their conversation and he walked off, leaving just you and Tyler.

“Are you having fun so far?” he asked.

“There’s a lot of people,” you said, taking a moment to scan the room. “But it’s not as terrible as I expected.”

“Yeah, these things are really more for Josh than me. I do appreciate everyone getting together, though. It’s a nice opportunity to catch up with people I don’t get to see often.”

“Maybe I would appreciate it more if I knew more people in Columbus,” you laughed, picking idly at the label on your beer bottle.

“This is a good chance to meet them!” he smiled. You shot him a look and he began to laugh, “I know, not your thing.”

You nodded and took another sip of your beer. Josh suddenly appeared, beer bottle in one hand and a huge smile plastered on his face.

“Y/N/N!” he smiled as his eyes landed on you. He walked over to where you and Tyler were standing in the corner. “What are you guys doing over here? There’s a whole party going on!”

You could smell the alcohol on his breath from where he was standing. He couldn’t be more than tipsy yet, but you could easily see what path this was taking.

“We were just talking since Y/N/N doesn’t know many people at this party,” Tyler explained.

“But this party is for  _ us _ , man,” Josh said, clapping his free hand down on Tyler’s shoulder.

“I can still talk to Y/N/N,” Tyler laughed.

Josh nodded and turned to you, “Y/N/N, did I ever tell you how nice you look tonight?”

He reached out and placed a hand on your arm, meanwhile you tried not to blush too hard, “You mentioned it, yeah.”

“Good,” he grinned. “Because you deserve to hear it a million times.”

“Thank you.”

“Tyler!” Josh practically yelled. “You look so handsome. I like this jacket.”

“Thanks,” Tyler laughed.

Josh nodded and walked off into the crowd. You and Tyler shared a look; getting him home was definitely going to be a challenge, but that was a problem to deal with later.

“What do you say we go outside and see who’s out there?” Tyler asked.

“Great,” you smiled, following his lead.

 

Firelight danced in front of your eyes as you sat on the stone ledge. There was a beer bottle in your hands, but you weren’t paying it much attention. You had already had a couple beers and you weren’t interested in getting plastered tonight. These were Tyler and Josh’s friends, and you weren’t about to make a fool of yourself in front of them.

Tyler was sitting next to you, talking to a couple other people who had gathered around the fire. You chimed into their conversation every now and again if you had something interesting to add to the little bits of conversation that you caught, but you otherwise stayed quiet. Sitting quietly by the fire was enough for you right now.

You leaned over and tapped Tyler’s shoulder, waiting for a pause in the conversation so that you could talk to him. He finished what he was saying and turned to you.

“What’s the time?” you asked.

“Don’t you have a phone?” Tyler laughed as he pulled back the sleeve of the hoodie he was wearing. “Ten minutes to eleven.”

“I didn’t want to pull it out of my pocket,” you giggled. “And thanks. I didn’t realize it was so late.”

“Yeah, we should probably get going soon. Do you want to head inside and find Josh?”

“Sure.”

You set your bottle down on the ledge and stood up, dusting a bit of dirt off your back. Your stomach twisted at the idea of walking back inside alone, but the alcohol gave you just enough confidence to take the first step.

It was crowded inside as you stepped through the sliding door. People walked around the house, carrying their own drinks and talking with people that you didn’t recognize. Music blasted as you moved slowly throughout the crowd, looking for the familiar head of red hair.

You hadn’t seen Josh for most of the night, aside from the few times that he came outside to talk to you and Tyler. He had been increasingly drunk each time until he eventually just stopped checking in. The last time that you had seen him was an hour ago.

You finally found him in the kitchen. He was in the middle of a conversation, so you found an empty space along the wall and waited for him to finish talking so that you could go up and tell him it was time to go.

You watched as Josh stepped closer to the girl that he was talking to. Your stomach twisted in discomfort, but you pushed it aside. He probably just couldn’t hear her over the music and other conversations that were happening around them. At least, that was what you wanted to believe.

His hand reached up and brushed a strand of her hair out of her face, causing her to smile up at him. You started to take a step forward, but stopped yourself. Josh was free to flirt with whoever he wanted, and it wasn’t your place to intrude.

Your foot tapped impatiently on the linoleum floor as you waited for them to stop flirting with one another. It was getting harder to watch and all you wanted was to be getting home right about now. If they weren’t done talking in the next few minutes, you were going to go over there. It may not be your place to intrude, but Tyler  _ had _ told you to go get Josh, right?

You stood against the kitchen wall for a few more minutes, trying your hardest to not just blatantly stare as Josh flirted with someone else. Tyler was going to start wondering where you were, so you figured now was as good a time as any to interrupt.

Just as you were about to walk up to the two of them, Josh reached out and put a hand on the side of her face, pulling her towards him. You stood frozen in shock as you watched the two of them kissing, unfazed by all the people surrounding them in the kitchen.

You turned and stormed back outside, not caring if you bumped shoulders with anyone. It felt like any trace of alcohol had been wiped straight out of your system, stripping you of any confidence you once had. Tears were already starting to pool in your eyes, but you were determined to somehow tell Tyler where you were going and get to the car before you fully broke down.

“Did you find him?” Tyler asked as you walked back up to him.

“He’s in the kitchen. I didn’t talk to him. Can I have your keys?”

“Yeah,” Tyler said, furrowing his eyebrows as he dug around in his sweatshirt pocket. “You’re not going to drive off, are you?”

You shook your head as you snatched the keys out of his hand.

“Hey, are you ok, Y/N/N?” he called after you.

You ignored Tyler and walked straight through the house. It was getting harder to keep from crying as the image of Josh and the girl replayed over and over again in your head. Fallen pictures crumpled under your feet as you made a beeline for the front door.

You got into the passenger seat of the car and immediately buried your face in your hands. The car was cold, but you couldn’t be bothered to turn the heater on right now. All you could think about was the way that Josh had pulled that girl towards him, completely unaware of you standing off to the side and watching the entire thing happen.

There was no way that Josh felt the same way about you. All of the supposed flirting had probably just been you reading too much into things. You two were together constantly, of course he was going to be more comfortable with you than the average person. It didn’t make you special.

You leaned back against the seat and wiped a few tears off your cheeks. How could you have been so stupid?


	13. Chapter 13

****

You stared out the window, putting all your focus into swallowing the lump in your throat and keeping any more tears from coming. The car was quiet and you were pretty sure that Josh had passed out in the backseat, although you didn’t want to turn around to check. You could barely stand to look at him right now.

“Are we almost home?” you whimpered.

“It should only be a few more minutes,” Tyler answered.

You nodded and rested your chin in your hand. Stars were just beginning to become visible in the night sky, so you leaned over further to see if you recognized any. Out of the corner of your eye, you could just see Tyler glancing over at you every so often. He probably knew that you were upset, you hadn’t exactly hidden it.

Tyler pulled into the driveway of Josh’s house. The movement must have woken Josh up because as soon as the car was parked, he was opening his car door and stumbling out onto the pavement.

“Are you coming, Y/N/N?” he slurred.

“I’ll be inside in a second.”

You broke down again as soon as Josh closed his car door. Tyler reached over so that he could lightly rub your back.

“Do you want to talk about what’s going on?” he asked.

“Later,” you muttered. “Can I just? I don’t know. Can I stay at your place tonight?”

“Yeah, of course.”

“Ok, I’m going to go grab some stuff. I’ll be right back.”

Tyler nodded as you hopped out of the car and headed inside. You hoped that Josh had just gone straight upstairs so that you wouldn’t have to face him. That would at least give you until the morning to come up with some excuse as to why you were staying with Tyler for the night.

You grabbed one of your tour bags from under the bed and began to pack it with a couple days worth of stuff. It was probably a bit excessive, but you weren’t entirely sure how long it would be until you felt comfortable with Josh again. 

Before you knew it, your stuff was packed and you were headed back towards the front door. Your luck of not running into Josh seemed to have run out, though, as you walked past him chugging water in the kitchen. He stopped when he saw you.

“Where are you going?” he asked, setting the half empty cup onto the counter.

“I’m staying with Tyler for the night,” you said, pointing a thumb over your shoulder.

“What’s wrong with staying here?”

“Nothing,” you lied. You were nervously tapping your finger against your leg to distract yourself from crying. “I just thought I would switch it up for a little while.”

“Are you ok?”

“Yeah.” You swallowed the lump in your throat.

“Ok. See you tomorrow then.”

You nodded and quickly turned away from him. It was a miracle that you had managed to get through that conversation without letting a tear slip out.

“That was fast,” Tyler said as you climbed back into the car.

“That was the goal,” you let out a feeble laugh.

“Did Josh do something?” Tyler asked as he pulled out onto the street.

“Just now? No.”

“Earlier?”

“Not intentionally.”

“But he did do something?”

“You could say that.”

“You can say yes. I’m not going to go behind your back and tell him you’re mad, if you’re worried about that.”

“I don’t want to say yes because he didn’t do it on purpose,” you sighed. “And it’s not that. I trust you, Ty.”

“Alright, then hit me with it.”

“He, well,” you said, voice immediately cracking. “I went inside to find him and he was talking to this girl so I kind of stood off to the side and waited for them to finish talking.”

“Ok.”

“But then as I was waiting, they started to flirt more and I didn’t want to walk into the middle of that so I just kept standing there. I finally got impatient and started to walk towards him but then he put a hand on the side of her face and pulled her towards him and he kissed her and I just got so upset and needed to get out of there right away.”

“Right.”

“And I know it seems dumb because Josh can do whatever he wants it’s just that-”

“Just that what?”

“Well, I have- this is so dumb.”

“You have feelings for him.”

You turned to face him, “Yeah, how did you know?”

Tyler glanced over at you for a moment with a knowing smile on his face, “I’ve seen the way that you look at him when he’s not paying attention.”

You smiled for a moment before the reality of the situation weighed down on your chest once again, “It was never my intention to develop feelings for him. Honestly. When we first met, I was just happy to have a friend in Ohio since everything with Matthew was going terribly wrong. Then I got to know him and tour started and, well, yeah.”

“It’s ok, Y/N, you don’t have to justify yourself to me.”

You nodded, “I thought there might actually be something there, with the way that he would act around me. Maybe I was just reading too much into all of it.”

“I want you to remember that he was super drunk when he kissed that girl. You don’t know what was running through his mind at the time, so I wouldn’t write the idea off completely.”

“I don’t know, Ty,” you sighed. “It seems pretty obvious to me.”

Tyler turned down a street that you recognized as the one that he lived on. 

“How about we don’t worry about it for the rest of the night? Once we get back to my house, we can find something fun to do and distract you.”

“That sounds good.”

“Perfect,” Tyler said as he pulled into the driveway.

You were wrapped up in a blanket as you watched Tyler move around the kitchen, cleaning up the mess that he had made. He had decided that making up some cookie dough was the best way to cheer you up.

“Isn’t this bad for you?” you asked as you reached forward and scooped another mound of raw cookie dough onto your spoon.

“If you live your whole life only doing things that are good for you, you’ll never have any fun,” Tyler laughed as he grabbed some dough straight from the bowl.

“How inspirational. And keep your grubby fingers out of the dough,” you laughed, swatting at his hand.

He pulled his phone out of his pocket with his clean hand and looked over it. You watched his eyebrows furrow slightly as he opened the notification and began to type.

“Is everything ok?”

“Yeah,” he said. “It’s Josh.”

You felt your stomach sink at the mention of his name. “Probably still drunk,” you muttered.

“Doesn’t seem like it,” Tyler said, locking his phone and setting it on the counter.

“No?” You raised an eyebrow.

“He was asking about you. I think he’s sad you’re not staying with him,” he smiled.

“Stop,” you muttered, leaning back against the stool. “Too soon.”

“Sorry,” Tyler said as his phone buzzed again.

“Him again?”

Tyler nodded, but didn’t say anything.

“Does he know I’m upset?”

“I think so, but he doesn’t know why.”

“Does he remember kissing the girl?”

Tyler looked up at you, “Y/N, he’s sent me two messages.”

“Right, sorry.”

“No need to apologize. I’ll keep you updated, ok?”

“Ok.”

You leaned forward and scooped up some more cookie dough. Thoughts of what Josh could possibly be saying creeped into your mind, but you pushed them aside and tried to focus on the present. It wasn’t often that just you and Tyler got to hang out.

“So, what do you want to do tomorrow?” he asked, tapping his fingers along the edge of the counter.

You shrugged as you picked up a fallen chocolate chip, “I don’t know. Did you have any ideas?”

“What do you say we call it a night and decide in the morning? You could use the rest.”

“That sounds like a good idea,” you said, finishing off the cookie dough on your spoon and standing up from the stool. 

Tyler grabbed some plastic wrap and covered the bowl of dough. You washed off your spoon and started to walk down the hall until you realized you had no idea where you were going.

“Uh, Ty?” you said, heading back towards the kitchen.

He closed the fridge door and turned to you, “Yeah?”

“Where’s your guest room?”

“Right. Follow me.”

He led you up the stairs and down the hall to a little bedroom. It had more furniture than Josh’s guest room, although you felt a little more out of place here. Having a bathroom right across the hall was a nice bonus, though.

“Thanks again for letting me stay here,” you smiled.

“Of course,” Tyler returned your smile. “My room is just right down the hall if you, uh, need anything,” he laughed.

“Noted.”

Tyler closed the door as he walked out. You realized that you had forgotten your bag of stuff downstairs, so you waited until you heard Tyler’s bedroom door open and close before you went running downstairs.

You tried to fight all the negative thoughts as you got ready for bed and crawled under the nicely made covers. There were still a lot of unanswered questions about the entire situation. Worrying about it now was just unnecessary, right?

You decided to turn on your favorite TV show while you tried to fall asleep. At least it would give your brain something to focus on, rather than replaying the image of Josh in the kitchen. All you could do right now was wait for an explanation.


	14. Chapter 14

Your eyes shot open and you sat up, looking around at the dark room. You could feel your heart pounding in your chest, but it began to slow down as you realized that you weren’t at the party anymore. This was just Tyler’s guest room.

You flopped back onto the pillow as tears began to pool in your eyes. Just when you had pushed the night from your thoughts and managed to fall asleep, your mind had made you relive it again. The dream had seemed so real, right down to the way that you felt like you had been punched in the stomach.

With shaky hands, you reached up to cover your mouth to prevent any sound from escaping. You didn’t want to accidentally wake up Tyler and make him have to deal with your emotional breakdown in the middle of the night. He had done enough for you already.

It was harder to keep the negative thoughts out of your mind now that you no longer had Tyler to distract you. For a while there, you had thought that you were handling everything really well. Evidently, this wasn’t the case. You ran a hand through your hair and rubbed your eyes. There was no way that you were going to be able to get back to sleep now.

With a resounding sigh, you threw the covers off of you and walked out into the hallway. Hopefully Tyler wouldn’t mind being woken up. You hated to do this to him, but you knew that as long as you were alone, you would only start to feel worse.

You lightly knocked on what you were pretty sure was the door to Tyler’s bedroom. It should have been just loud enough to wake him up without scaring him too bad. There were shuffling footsteps a few moments later, and a very sleepy Tyler appeared just inside.

“What’s going on?” he mumbled, rubbing sleep out of one of his eyes. His hair was sticking up in all sorts of directions.

“I’m sorry to bother you,” you sniffled.

“Oh, Y/N/N,” he said, opening the door wider.

You walked inside and took a seat on the edge of Tyler’s bed. The blankets were in messy heaps and it was warm from his body heat. He grabbed a discarded white t-shirt from the ground and pulled it on over his dark sweatpants.

“What’s going on?” he asked, taking a seat next to you.

“I, um,” you mumbled, wiping a tear away. “I had a bad dream about what happened last night. It was like reliving it all over again.”

“Come here,” he said, holding an arm out for you.

You laughed a little as you scooted over and leaned into him, “I feel like a little kid talking to their parent after a nightmare.”

Tyler laughed at this too, “If this is what parenting is like, it isn’t so bad.”

You smiled. It was nice to know that Tyler wasn’t upset with you for waking him up in the middle of the night.

“Tonight has just been a mess,” you sighed as you drew patterns on your knee.

“Yeah, but we’re going to get through it.”

“I don’t think I’m going to be able to fall asleep again.”

“Do you want me to come sit in your room with you?”

“You would do that?”

Tyler shrugged, “Why not? I’ll just sit with you until you’re asleep so you don’t have to be alone, and then once you’re asleep I can come back in here.”

You leaned back so that you could properly look at him, “That would be really helpful, actually.”

“That was the goal,” he smiled. “Come on.”

He grabbed his phone from the nightstand and the two of you walked back to your room. You got back under the covers and curled up while Tyler sat down on the other side of the bed. It already felt like there was a weight off your chest now that you were no longer alone.

“Thanks, Ty,” you mumbled. “I don’t think I’m ever going to stop saying that.”

“It’s ok,” he said, a slight hint of laughter in his voice. “At least it lets me know that I’m doing something right.”

You nodded against the pillow and breathed deeply, already feeling much more tired than you had before.

“Goodnight, Y/N/N,” Tyler said softly.

“Goodnight.”

 

Tyler was gone when you woke up the next morning. You grabbed one of the hoodies from your bag and pulled it on over your pajama shirt. The house was eerily quiet as you made your way downstairs. 

You walked into the kitchen and began to look through the cupboards, hoping to find something that would make a good breakfast. Most of Tyler’s cupboards were full of snacks and other sugar-filled foods, but you eventually managed to find some cereal. Locating the bowls proved to be a bit more of a challenge.

Tyler arrived downstairs just as you sat down at the table with your breakfast. From the looks of it, he had just woken up too. His hair was still a mess and he was wearing the same pajamas from the night before.

“Morning,” he mumbled as he opened a cupboard and grabbed one of the sugary snacks that you had specifically avoided.

“Morning,” you answered. “How’d you sleep?”

Tyler walked over and practically collapsed into the chair across the table from you, “You know me. I’m a master at getting a terrible night’s sleep.”

“Me waking you up in the middle of the night probably didn’t help,” you laughed nervously before taking a bite of cereal.

“I was having troubles sleeping way before then,” he explained. “Besides, if it helped you then it was totally worth it.”

“It did,” you nodded. “There was no way I was going to get back to sleep in a timely manner if it weren’t for you. Thanks again.”

He waved a hand at you, “Don’t mention it.”

“Have you heard anything else from Josh?” you said, tapping your spoon nervously against the edge of your bowl.

“I actually stayed up pretty late talking to him,” he said.

“Oh yeah?” you asked.

“Yeah. He thinks that it’s his fault that you’re upset, although he has no idea what he did. I didn’t confirm or deny if that was true.”

“Thanks. I know this whole thing is dumb.”

“It’s not dumb, Y/N/N. You’re allowed to have feelings.”

You nodded, even though you didn’t quite believe him.

“He remembers kissing her, by the way. He just doesn’t remember what made him do it.”

Your jaw clenched and you nodded, keeping your vision focused on your cereal bowl. You had done enough crying in the last twenty four hours and you really didn’t feel like breaking down again.

“Are you ok?”

You met Tyler’s eyes, “Yeah, I’m ok.”

He gave you a reassuring smile, “So, what do you want to do today?”

“You would know better than me,” you laughed. There was a pang of sadness in your chest as you remembered the day that you and Josh had spent at the conservatory. If only you could go back to what things were like then.

“If you want, we can just stay here and enjoy not having any responsibilities before tour starts again. There’s no pressure for us to go out and do something.”

“Yeah, maybe we should just stay here,” you said.

Tyler nodded and stood up to throw away his wrapper. You scooped up another spoonful of cereal.

“If you change your mind, just let me know,” he said, heading back for the stairs. “There’s plenty of things we can do later today.”

“I will.”

You leaned forward and buried your face in your hands once Tyler was upstairs. Going on tour and leaving Matthew was supposed to turn your life around, but now you just felt as awful as you had a few months ago. It was like you were destined to have your heart broken over and over again.

You finished your cereal and washed out your bowl. Maybe getting upstairs and getting ready would help you feel a bit better. There was still time for your day to turn around.

 

“You’re kidding!” you laughed.

“I wish I was,” Tyler smiled, rubbing a tear out of his eye.

“That’s awful. Hilarious, but awful.”

“That’s what happens when you’re a semi-famous musician,” he shrugged.

“Just wait until you guys make it really big.”

“ _ If _ we make it really big.”

“Trust me, you guys are going to get there.”

Tyler shook his head and set his plate on the coffee table. You two had ended up spending all day at the house watching tv, swapping crazy life stories, and just generally enjoying not having to do anything productive. The entire Josh incident had been at the back of your mind and you were genuinely having fun just hanging out with Tyler.

“If we do make it big, I hope you’re still with us to photograph all the cool stuff we come up with.”

“Ty, I don’t plan on leaving you guys anytime soon. That’s a promise.”

“Good. We need cool people like you on tour,” he smiled, reaching out to poke you with his foot.

“Gross,” you laughed, shoving his leg away from you.

You grabbed your phone from beside you and checked to see if you had missed any notifications. Part of you was hoping that Josh would message you so you could talk about what happened, but you knew that if that actually happened it wouldn’t lead anywhere. There was no way you would so readily admit your feelings to him.

“I should probably head to bed,” Tyler said, unwrapping himself from the blankets so that he could stand up. “If I get my sleep schedule too messed up, then I’m never going to be able to sleep on tour.”

“When do we leave?”

“Early Monday morning.”

You sighed and leaned back against the couch. That was only two more days. This week had gone by way too fast and you weren’t sure that you were ready to be thrown back into tour life just yet. Not to mention it would mean being with Josh around the clock again.

“Too soon,” you said, following Tyler’s lead in getting off the couch.

“Hey now! You-”

You cut Tyler off, “Yes, I know. I signed up for this.”

“Exactly.”

“Goodnight, Ty,” you smiled sarcastically as you turned down the hall.

“Goodnight, Y/N/N.”

You jumped onto the bed and leaned back so that you could stare at the ceiling. Just two short days until you were back on the road. It was hard to tell whether you were more excited or terrified of the idea. A lot had changed since the last time all of you had been cramped on that tour bus, and you weren’t so sure that was a good thing.


	15. Chapter 15

“Oh, good,” you sighed as you pulled back the curtain on your bunk. “All the pictures are still here.”

“Of course they are,” Tyler smiled.

You shook your head and walked over to the couch, flopping down onto it. Your entire morning had been spent cleaning Tyler’s house and packing stuff up for tour. Now all you had to do was wait for Josh and the rest of the crew to show up before you could leave.

“Did Josh say when he was going to get here?” you asked as Tyler walked over and took a seat next to you.

“He said he was leaving a while ago, so he should be here any minute.” Tyler reached over and put a hand on your shoulder, giving it a light squeeze, “It’s going to be ok. I’m going to be here the whole time. Plus, there’s not really anywhere you can have a private conversation on a tour bus.”

“Right.”

You were about to pull out your phone when you heard people talking outside the bus. A few moments later, Josh walked inside carrying a small backpack. He smiled at the two of you and set his stuff down by the table. Your heartbeat sped up. You hadn’t seen or talked to one another since you left to stay with Tyler after the party.

“Hey, man,” Tyler smiled, standing up to give Josh a hug. You elected to stay sitting on the couch.

“Hey! I haven’t seen you guys in a few days and it feels like a lifetime,” he laughed. “How have you been?”

“Good,” you muttered.

“Yeah, we had to rush to get everything packed this morning,” Tyler laughed. 

“That reminds me,” Josh said, turning to you. “I don’t know if Tyler told you, but I packed up the rest of your clothes that were still at my house. They’re with the rest of the stuff outside.”

“Thanks,” you said, trying your best to give him a reassuring smile.

Tyler had offered for you to wear some of his clothes since the majority of your stuff had still been with Josh, but truth be told you were glad to have your actual stuff back. As much as you loved Tyler, you would rather not wear his baggy t-shirts and jeans for the entire second leg of the tour.

Josh smiled and turned back to his bag of stuff. You decided to spend some time organizing all the photos from the first part of the tour so that they didn’t accidentally get mixed in with all the new ones. It would also be a good opportunity to sit at the table and ignore everyone else on the bus for a little while.

 

“Y/N/N!” Tyler said, grabbing your attention.

You looked up from your laptop. Tyler and Josh were sitting on the floor with a couple other crew members, playing card games.

“Huh?” you asked, taking one earbud out so that you could hear him.

“Do you want to come play?”

You looked back to your laptop. After about an hour of work, almost all of your photos were dated and put into their proper folders. Playing card games to kill some time would probably be fun and you couldn’t really ignore everyone on the bus forever.

“Sure,” you said, shutting your laptop and joining everyone else.

You took a seat between Tyler and another one of the crew members, despite the fact that there had been a bit more space next to Josh. He looked over at you and pursed his lips for a moment before glancing back at his cards.

“You’ve played Cards Against Humanity before, right?” Tyler asked, handing you a small pile of white cards.

“Yep,” you answered, stifling a giggle as you read over some of the cards.

“Great,” Tyler smiled.

Josh read out the black card and you immediately placed down your answer. Tyler leaned over and bumped your arm.

“What card should I play?” he whispered, showing you two options.

You giggled at his answers and silently pointed to the better of the two. He smiled and nodded before setting it down with the rest of the white cards. Josh glanced over at the two of you.

This pattern continued for the rest of the game. You and Tyler would giggle and help each other pick out answers, earning you a couple looks from Josh. It sent a pang of guilt through you every time, but you were having too much fun with Tyler to stop. He had brought this on himself, after all.

“I think that’s the game,” Josh said, noticing that one of the crew members had seven cards.

“Damn,” you sighed, having only collected a couple black cards.

Everyone cleaned up the game and returned back to whatever they had been doing. The boys took a seat on the couch and you returned to your laptop to finish up a little bit more work. You were less than an hour away from the venue now, and you had to make sure that all of your equipment was set up properly for the show.

Music was blasting in your ears as you went about cleaning all of your camera lenses. You glanced up at Tyler and Josh, who hadn’t moved from the couch in quite some time. They seemed to be in the middle of an intense discussion.

You reached forward and paused your music so that you could hear their conversation a bit better. It was wrong to eavesdrop, but if they didn’t want anyone to hear then they shouldn’t be having a serious discussion in the middle of the tour bus.

“I don’t know what I did,” Josh said, just loud enough for you to hear. “Things just haven’t been the same since the party. Y/N will barely even look at me anymore, let alone talk to me.”

“Have you two tried talking?”

“I mean, no. I’m too afraid of getting shut down.”

“You’ll never know if you don’t ask.”

“Yeah, you have a point.”

“Why don’t you just try casually talking again? That would at least give you a start.”

“Yeah.”

They stopped talking as one of the crew members walked into the main part of the bus. You started your music and acted as if you hadn’t heard anything. Josh got up and walked towards the back of the bus, but Tyler came and joined you at the table.

“How’s stuff going over here?” he asked.

You paused your music and pulled out your headphones, setting them on top of your keyboard. Tyler leaned forward and rested his elbows on the table.

“It’s going,” you sighed. “It feels kinda weird to be back on the road, even if the break was only a week.”

“You get used to it. Did you remember all your equipment?”

“So far,” you answered, looking over it all. “But I still feel like I’m forgetting something.”

“If you did, I’m sure it’s replaceable.”

“And expensive,” you laughed. “I’ve been meaning to ask, does the show have the same setup this time around?”

“Yep, right down to the setlist.”

“Ok, perfect. Now I just have to remember what I did last time,” you laughed.

“You’ll pick it back up in no time.”

Josh returned back to the main part of the tour bus. Upon seeing you and Tyler at the table, he walked over and sat down next to Tyler.

“What’s going on over here?” he asked.

“Just cleaning my camera and talking about the show,” you answered with a smile.

Josh seemed a bit surprised that you had actually answered him. You set down the lens that you had just finished cleaning and grabbed another one.

“Nice,” he nodded. “Are you excited to be taking pictures again?”

“Yeah. It was weird not doing much photography over the break, but it was nice to not worry about it for a while too.”

“That makes sense.”

“We’ll be there in ten minutes!” someone called.

“I should probably get all this packed up,” you said, looking over the mess that you had made.

The boys nodded and walked off as you began to pack things back into your bag. It was a complicated process, and if everything didn’t go exactly where it was supposed to then your bag wouldn’t close.

“Do you have it handled, Y/N/N?” Tyler asked upon noticing you struggling with your bag.

“Yeah,” you sighed. 

“You sure?”

You shot him a look, “Yes, Ty.”

“Ok,” he laughed.

You reached over and playfully shoved him in the arm. He tried to do the same in return, but you ducked out of the way at the last second.

“Not fair,” he grumbled before walking off.

You finally managed to get your bag closed and set it on the bench. Your stomach was starting to twist a bit as you grew increasingly nervous for the concert, but you pushed the worries aside. This was the same thing that you had been doing for the last three months. You were good at it.

“We’re here,” Josh announced right as the tour bus slowed to a stop. You grabbed your camera bag and followed everyone else off the bus.

Tyler walked up next to you and threw an arm around your shoulder, “Are you ready for this?”

“As ready as I’ll ever be.”


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, everyone! Just wanted to let you know that I've made some changes to the posting schedule. From here on out, posts will be guaranteed every Tuesday and Friday. I will also try to post most Sundays, provided that I have enough content! Thanks for understanding <3

“Here you go,” one of the crew members said, handing you your suitcase.

“Thanks,” you smiled, taking it from him and walking over to stand by the boys.

“Got everything?” Josh asked.

You readjusted your camera bag on your shoulder. It was a bit awkward to carry both it and your suitcase, but you were making it work.

“Yeah, I’ve got it.”

You walked inside and took a seat in one of the lobby’s chairs while the tour manager got everyone checked into their rooms. Tyler walked over and leaned on the armrest of the chair that you were in.

“I’m ready to pass out,” he said, running a hand through his hair.

“Me too,” you answered. “Too bad I have a ton of photos to edit.”

“Hey, Y/N!” the tour manager called.

You looked over to where he was standing by the front desk. He was frantically waving you over.

“Watch my stuff,” you said as you got up.

“Hey,” he said with a sigh. “We have an issue.”

“What’s going on?” you asked, eyebrows furrowed.

“Well, because of the slip up and not getting rooms booked until tonight,” he said, shooting one of the other crew members a look. “We don’t have enough rooms for everyone. I’m going to need you to double up with someone. Keep in mind you’ll be sharing a bed.”

“Alright, I can room with Tyler.”

“He already has a room buddy.”

“Ok, so who’s left?”

“Josh.”

You looked over your shoulder to where he was sitting, totally unaware of the predicament you two had now been placed in.

“There’s nobody else?” you asked, dropping your voice to a whisper.

“Unless you want to sleep on the bus alone.”

You bit down on your lip. How bad could one night with Josh be? It definitely wouldn’t be anywhere as bad as being on the bus alone.

“Alright, I can room with Josh.”

“Thank you so much,” he said, turning back to the front desk.

You shuffled back over to where Josh and Tyler were and flopped back down into your chair.

“What was that all about?” Tyler asked.

“They didn’t book enough rooms so they were asking who I wanted to share with.”

“Oh yeah, they told me about that,” Tyler said. “Who did you end up with?”

“Josh.”

He looked up at the mention of his name, “We’re rooming together?”

“Yeah.”

He nodded slowly and looked back down at his phone. You looked to Tyler, who gave you what was supposed to be a reassuring smile.

“Alright, come get your room keys,” the tour manager called.

You got your key and followed everyone into the elevator. Josh and Tyler were on either side of you.

“This is us,” Josh said, leading you out of the elevator.

You turned and looked back at everyone, wondering why they weren’t following you.

“I’m on the next floor,” Tyler shrugged.

“We had to take what we could get,” the manager chimed in.

You nodded before turning to follow Josh down the hall. He walked up to your room and opened the door, allowing you to walk in first.

“Thanks,” you said, immediately claiming the table in the corner of the room with your camera equipment.

“Only one bed, huh?” he asked, setting his duffel bag on it.

“Yeah.”

You immediately pulled out your laptop and got to work editing photos. It was already late, and you wanted to get as many done as you possibly could. Thankfully, Josh had disappeared into the bathroom, allowing you to focus.

Movement on the other side of the room caught your eye as you were editing a photo of Tyler. You glanced up to see what was going on, only to see a very shirtless Josh standing just outside the bathroom. He had a towel wrapped low on his hips and there were still droplets of water on his torso.

“I forgot my clothes,” he explained upon noticing you staring.

You nodded quickly and turned back to your laptop, refusing to look back up at him. No matter how upset you were with him, you couldn’t help but admire how good he looked. The way that the water had looked on his stomach was just…

You shook your head and pushed the image of Josh from your mind. The sooner you got over your feelings for him, the happier that you would be. Something between the two of you just wasn’t destined to happen.

“This is for you,” Josh said.

You looked up to see a now fully clothed Josh standing in front of you; you had been so focused on editing that you hadn’t even heard him walk out of the bathroom. There was a ten dollar bill in his outstretched hand, which you hesitantly reached forward and took.

“What is this for?” you asked.

“You said I owed you ten bucks if you didn’t have a good time at the party,” he said with a lopsided smile.

“Oh, thanks.”

“Do you mind if I turn on the TV?” he asked as he walked over and took a seat on the bed.

“Go for it,” you answered.

The two of you spent the next hour in silence. Josh bounced between actively watching TV and scrolling through his phone, meanwhile you continued to work away on editing photos. You eventually decided that you had done enough work for the night and got ready for bed.

“Do you want me to turn the TV off?” Josh asked as you crawled under the covers.

“It’s fine,” you said. “I don’t mind the noise.”

“No, I should probably get some sleep.”

“Ok.”

You set an alarm for the next morning on your phone before you laid down. Your back was to Josh, but you could feel him shifting around and getting comfortable. It was quiet for a while, and you were actually beginning to think that getting through the night would be relatively painless.

“Can I ask you question?”

You had just started to fall asleep when Josh broke the peaceful silence of the room. It should have been expected that you two weren’t going to get through the night without having some form of serious conversation.

“Sure,” you said, adjusting slightly.

“Are you upset with me?”

You reached up and rubbed your eyes, “That’s a loaded question.”

“I know it is, but things between us have just been so different lately and I need to know if I did something wrong.”

“You didn’t do anything wrong. I’m just upset about something dumb.”

“Is it related to me?”

“I mean,” you sighed and rolled onto your back. You didn’t want to lie to him. “Yes.”

“Was it something I did at the party? Because we were fine before that, right?”

“Yes, we were fine before that. And yes, I’m upset about something you did at the party.”

“Was it because I was drinking?”

“Josh,” you sighed, burying your face in your hands. This was not a conversation you wanted to be having right now. “No, I don’t care if you drink.”

“Then what was it?”

“It’s dumb.”

“If it was upsetting to you, then it definitely isn’t dumb. If I did something wrong, I want to fix it, no matter how dumb you might think it.”

“I was upset because you kissed that girl.”

“You know about that?”

“Are you kidding? I watched it happen.”

“You did?”

“Yeah. Tyler sent me to go get you and tell you it was time to go. I was waiting for you to finish your conversation with her but you just kissed her instead.”

You weren’t entirely sure why you were so readily admitting all of this to Josh.

“Why did that bother you?”

“I just thought maybe… nevermind.”

“Thought that what?”

“No, it’s nothing. Just forget I said anything, Josh.”

You turned back onto your side and closed your eyes. Admitting all of that had been a bad idea, you were giving too much away.

“I don’t have any feelings for her. If I’m being honest, I’m not entirely sure why I kissed her in the first place.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. There was someone else at that party who I would have much rather been spending my time with.”

Your heart was pounding as you turned so that you were laying on your back again.

“Yeah, I think Tyler missed you,” you laughed.

Josh let out a little laugh, “I’m sure he did, but that’s not who I mean.”

You turned your head to face him. The room was dark, but you could just make out the shape of Josh’s features. He was looking directly at you.

For a moment you thought that Josh was moving closer to you, but you quickly wrote it off as the light of the room playing tricks on you. It wasn’t until his nose was a few centimeters from yours that you realized he had been getting closer. Your heart was pounding in your chest as you looked into his eyes. They were shining ever so slightly in the moonlight.

“Do you mind if I-?”

You cut him off, “Please.”

He leaned forward and pressed his lips to yours. They were soft, and you could just barely taste the mint from his toothpaste. The kiss was gentle and you never wanted it to end. You nearly melted when he reached up and rested a hand on the side of your face.

Your lips were still tingling when he finally pulled away.

“Wow,” he said softly, one hand still resting on the side of your face.

“I could say the same,” you giggled.

“Listen, I’m so sorry that I ever upset you. Trust me, I never want to do that again.”

You reached out and ran a finger along his jaw. His stubble was rough against your skin, “Hey, it’s ok. We all make mistakes.”

He smiled and closed his eyes, looking quite possibly the happiest that you had ever seen him.

“You should get some sleep, Josh,” you said quietly. “You have another show to play tomorrow.”

“You’re right,” he said, adjusting himself. “You should sleep too.”

“I will.”

He gave your knuckles a quick kiss before turning onto his side. You did the same, although now you couldn’t keep the smile off your face.


	17. Chapter 17

Josh was already awake and in the shower by the time that you woke up the next morning. You immediately started grinning as you remembered what had happened last night. Your heart started to beat a little bit faster as you remembered how soft Josh’s lips had been. He walked out of the bathroom, fully dressed and ready for the day.

“Morning,” you said, sitting up and smiling at him.

“Hey,” he said, avoiding eye contact with you as he packed up his stuff.

You were a bit taken aback by the way he was acting towards you, but you brushed it off. Something upsetting could have happened this morning that you didn’t know about. Rather than questioning what was going on, you got up and quickly began to get ready. You were expected to be down in the lobby in the next thirty minutes so that you could leave and you still had to pack up all your equipment.

Josh barely spoke to you as you packed up your things. It was almost like the conversation had never happened last night and you two were still being weird around one another. The thought of the kiss meaning nothing put a bad feeling in your stomach, but you tried your best not to think about it. Maybe Tyler would have something to say about the situation.

Unfortunately for you, Tyler had still yet to come downstairs by the time that you and Josh were stepping out of the elevator. You went and took a seat in the same chair as last night while Josh handed your room keys off to the tour manager. There was still a bit of time left before you had to leave, so you pulled your laptop out and got a head start on the day’s editing.

“Morning,” Tyler grumbled.

You looked up at him. His hood was pulled up over his head and there were deep bags under his eyes. One look at him told you that he hadn’t gotten enough sleep.

“Troubles sleeping?” you asked.

Tyler rolled his eyes and dropped his voice to a whisper, “The crew member that I got paired with wouldn’t stop snoring. It took me two hours to fall asleep.  _ Two hours _ .”

“Yeah, my night wasn’t much better.”

Tyler’s eyebrows furrowed and he took a seat in the chair next to you, “What happened?”

You shut your laptop and glanced over to where Josh was standing with the rest of the crew, completely out of earshot.

“We kissed.” Tyler brought his hands up to the sides of his head in shock. You smiled at his reaction for a moment. “There’s more to it than that.”

“No, please, I don’t want to hear it,” he scrunched his nose up.

“No, not like that,” you laughed. “We talked through the entire situation and I told him why I was upset and he apologized, but when we woke up this morning he acted like none of it happened. Things are just like they were before, except now he’s being the distant one.”

“Oh.”

“I was hoping you might have some insight.”

Tyler shook his head, “He’s liked you since the beginning of the first leg. I have no idea why he’s chickening out now that you guys actually know you have mutual feelings.”

“Great,” you muttered, leaning back into the chair. “That’s helpful.”

“Sorry. I can try to figure out more if you want.”

“No, no. This is something for Josh and I to work out.”

“Ok. Then I’ll be here for emotional support,” he smiled.

“Thanks, Ty.”

“Y/N! Tyler! Let’s go!” the manager called.

 

You let out an audible groan and rubbed your eyes. It seemed like the number of photos that you had to edit wasn’t getting any smaller, no matter how many you finished.

“Are you ok?” Tyler asked, looking over to you from the couch.

“No,” you sighed, burying your face in your hands. “I’ve been editing for so long that I can hardly see straight.”

“Why don’t you take a break and have a snack?” Tyler asked. “You’ve been working all morning.”

“I just don’t want to get behind.”

“It’s fine. You deserve a break, Y/N/N. Besides, if we don’t have enough photos we can just use some from other dates that didn’t get posted. They’ll never know the difference,” he laughed.

“But I will,” you said, closing your laptop and taking a moment to stretch.

Josh had been sitting on the couch next to Tyler for the entirety of your conversation, but hadn’t said anything. Usually he was the one that would force you to step away from your computer when you got frustrated. 

“How many do you have left?”

“I think two, maybe three hundred to sort through. Then I just have to edit my favorites.”

“That’s not bad, plus we still have an hour until we get to the venue.”

“Ty, I’m already taking a break. You can stop coming up with more excuses,” you laughed, taking a seat next to him on the couch.

“Fine.”

He held out a hand and you dumped some of the popcorn that you were eating into his hand. 

“You guys excited for night two?”

“Always am,” Tyler answered.

“Josh?” you asked, leaning around Tyler so that you could see him.

He glanced up at you and met your eyes for a second before looking back down at his phone, “Yeah.”

You and Tyler shared a look. This back and forth of being distant that was happening between you and Josh was quickly growing tiring. All you wanted was some sort of straight answer as to what was going on between the two of you.

“I think we have an interview before the show tonight. Are you going to try and take some pictures, Y/N/N?”

“Oh, there is? I didn’t know that, but I can totally tag along for pictures.”

“Great,” Tyler smiled.

You watched as Josh stood up and walked off towards his bunk. Tyler turned to you and frowned.

“I don’t know why he’s being like this,” he whispered.

“It’s fine,” you lied, giving a slight shrug of your shoulders. “I’m sure we’ll find out soon enough.”

“Yeah.”

“So, this interview. Who’s doing it?”

“Some local radio station, I think. They just want to talk about the new album and the first part of the tour. It’s normal stuff.”

“That doesn’t sound too bad.”

“It shouldn’t be, as long as they don’t ask stupid questions,” he laughed.

“If they do, just give them equally stupid answers.”

Tyler reached up and rubbed his chin, “Yeah, I like that idea. I’ll get Josh in on it too.” He stood up from the couch and stretched his arms for a moment, “I think I’m going to take a nap.”

“Good idea. You look tired.”

“Thanks,” he laughed with a roll of his eyes.

“I didn’t mean it like that,” you said, reaching out to lightly swat at his leg.

“Uh huh.”

He walked off to his bunk and you returned to your laptop. Now that you would have a ton of interview photos to edit later that night, you needed to get even more work done now. A quiet tour bus was the perfect opportunity for you to get ahead.

You were nearing the end of the photos when Josh walked back out. He looked around the bus for a moment with furrowed eyebrows.

“Where’s Tyler?” he asked, eyes never meeting yours.

“Sleeping,” you muttered.

Your eyes followed him as he moved across the room to grab some water. He sat down on the couch with a sigh and began to scroll through his phone. You almost asked him what was going on, but decided that was a bad idea with the potential of Tyler waking up at any moment. Besides, you weren’t really feeling up to that conversation right now.

“How are the photos going?” he asked.

You looked up, surprised that he was even talking to you. His eyes were still locked on his phone.

“Pretty good. I’m almost done, if you want to see some.”

You flexed your hands to stop them from shaking. It was just Josh, there was no need to panic about asking him a simple question.

“I’m ok.”

Even though that was the answer you had been expecting, hearing him say it still felt like a punch in the gut. You nodded and went back to editing photos, chewing on your lip to distract you from what Josh had said. If you didn’t figure out what was going on with him soon, you were pretty sure that you were going to lose your mind.


	18. Chapter 18

You glanced down at the clock on your laptop. There was still fifteen minutes until you needed to be inside and only a small handful of photos to be edited. The interview had really thrown your schedule off, and now you were stressed that you wouldn’t get everything done in time. Not hanging out with one of the boys before the show just felt… wrong.

You didn't even glance up when you heard the door of the bus swing open. It was probably just one of the crew members getting something that they needed for the show. The hand appearing on top of your laptop scared you so bad that you jumped back a bit.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you.”

You looked up to see Josh standing in front of you, wearing half of his outfit for the first part of the show. He smiled at you as you met his eyes. It was like his demeanor had done a complete flip from earlier that day.

“It’s ok, I’m just worried about getting the rest of these done,” you sighed as you took out your headphones. “What’s up?”

“Can we talk?”

“Doesn’t the show start in like twenty minutes?”

“Yeah, but this is important.”

You nodded and shut your laptop. He slid onto the bench across from you and folded his hands on the table.

“I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about our kiss last night,” he said.

You let out a nervous laugh, “I was wondering when that was going to come up.”

The corner of his mouth turned up into a smile. You glanced down at the table to hide the color that was now on your cheeks.

“I meant everything that I said last night.”

“So did I.”

“That’s good,” he smiled for a moment before becoming serious again. “But we need to talk about what’s going to happen from here on out.”

Your hands automatically moved to the end of your shirt and began to play with the hem. You didn’t like the way that he had said that.

“What are you thinking?”

“Well,” he ran a hand through his hair, making it stick up at different angles. “We obviously spend a lot of time together on tour.”

“Right?”

“And I just don’t think it’s a good idea for us to be together.”

Your mouth opened to say something, but no sound came out. It felt like someone had just sucked all the air from your lungs. All you could manage to do was sit there and stare at the table, trying to manage the weight of what you had just been told.

“Why?” you eventually managed to mutter.

“I don’t want you get hurt.”

“Why would I get hurt?”

He sighed and rubbed the back of his neck, “People say things. Awful things. I don’t want to put you through that, even if it means not being together. I’ve never felt for someone as strongly as I do for you, Y/N. The last thing I want is to see you have to deal with that because of me. And being on tour together creates another reason for us to not pursue this relationship. There’s just too much potential for things to end badly.”

“Are you really letting the fact that people  _ might _ say something stop you from doing something that makes you happy?”

He paused for a moment, “Yes.”

“And what if I said that I didn’t care what anyone said about me?”

“I just… I can’t.”

That was the stupidest excuse that you had ever heard, but you kept your mouth shut. You still worked for him, after all.

“Alright. Just friends, then.”

“I’m sorry if I ever made you believe we were going to be anything different. When I kissed you, I was tired and I wasn’t thinking about the consequences. I thought that things could work, but when I woke up I remembered exactly why I never acted on my feelings in the first place.”

“You’re right. You shouldn’t have.”

He started to say something, but was interrupted by a crew member stepping onto the bus.

“Josh! Let’s go. You need to finish getting ready.”

“I’ll talk to you later,” he said.

You waited for the door of the tour bus to slam before you allowed yourself to show any sign of emotion. Just when you thought there was a chance of something happening, it all came crashing down again. 

Your phone timer went off, alerting you that there was only ten minutes until you needed to be inside with a camera in your hand. Deciding that there was no way that you were going to get any work done in the state you were in, you decided to go see Tyler. Hopefully being around him would help you cheer up.

You wiped away a few tears and fanned your face as you headed out of the tour bus. A security guard was standing outside, watching you as you grew closer.

“I need to see Tyler Joseph,” you said, flashing your security badge.

“Second left and then the first right,” he said plainly.

“Thanks,” you sniffled, pushing through the door.

Thankfully, Tyler was actually in his dressing room when you arrived. He had the tendency to be all over the place before shows. You knocked on the wall a couple times to gain his attention.

He was fixing his tie as he spun around to face you, “Y/N/N! Did you get your photos done? I thought I wasn’t going to get to see you before the show.”

“They’re not done.” You swallowed the lump in your throat.

“Are you ok?”

“Yep,” you lied, forcing a smile.

His eyebrows furrowed for a moment, but he didn’t press the subject any further. You walked further into the room and took a seat on the couch, pulling your legs up next to you. 

“You would think that after playing as many shows as I have, I wouldn’t get so nervous beforehand.”

“If it makes you feel any better, I get nervous too,” you laughed.

Tyler turned around to say something, but his eyes immediately went to the doorway. You followed his gaze, wondering what had so suddenly drawn his attention. Josh was standing just inside the room, now fully ready. He was only paying attention to Tyler.

“Hey,” Tyler said.

“Hi,” Josh answered. “I was just coming to see what was going on.”

“Come on in,” Tyler smiled.

Your breathing became more rapid as Josh walked over and took a seat on the far end of the couch. 

“How are you feeling about the show tonight, Ty?” Josh asked.

“Nervous, but I have a good feeling.”

“Yeah, me too.”

You glanced over at Josh. It just so happened that he had decided to look at you too, leading to a few awkward seconds of eye contact before you turned away. This almost hurt worse than him never having feelings for you in the first place.

“You two are being awfully quiet,” Tyler said, meeting your gaze through the mirror he was standing in front of.

“A lot on my mind,” you said.

Josh looked up from his lap, “Me too.”

“Did I miss something?”

You and Josh both shook your heads, probably a little too quickly. Not wanting to be interrogated, you immediately pulled out your camera and began to triple check all the settings.

“There you are,” an exasperated crew member said, sticking their head into the room. “Josh, we need you for a second.”

Josh stood up and left the room, once again leaving just you and Tyler. There were only a few minutes left until you and Tyler needed to get to your places and you were trying your hardest to not completely break down in that time frame.

“Alright, what’s going on?” Tyler asked.

“Ask Josh,” you muttered, rolling your eyes. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

“I liked it better when you two just got along,” he laughed. 

“Same,” you sniffled.

“Hey,” Tyler said, rushing over and bending down in front of you. “I don’t know exactly what happened, but I do know that you’re stronger than whatever it is.”

“Tyler!” someone called. “It’s go time!’

“Coming!” he called. “So let’s get out there and do what we do best, ok? Tonight, I just want you to focus on the pictures. Not whatever is going on in your head. Not Josh. Not the crowd. Just the photos.”

“Tyler!”

“Give me two seconds!” he yelled a bit more aggressively. “Can you do that for me?”

You nodded, “I think so.”

“Alright,” he said.

He stood up and held out a hand to you. You grabbed your camera bag and allowed Tyler to pull you up from the couch. 

“Ready?”

“I guess so.”

Tyler threw an arm around your shoulders and led you out into the hallway, “Let’s do this.”


	19. Chapter 19

You took one final picture of Tyler before you went running to the other side of the stage. Josh was about to have one of his drum solos and an idea for a great shot had been bouncing around your mind all day. He glanced over at you as you were adjusting your camera.

You sighed and got the photos that you wanted. Josh had been catching your eye all night and it was only serving as a reminder to how terribly everything had turned out. As soon as the pictures were taken, you went rushing back to the other side of the stage. Tyler was about to get into the crowd for Holding On To You and that was a moment you didn’t want to miss.

After the concert, you headed straight back to the tour bus. There was still lots of work for you to do and you didn’t feel like waiting around for Tyler and Josh. You would have plenty of time to hear all about tonight’s show later on.

Your editing equipment was still laid out on the table, making plugging your camera in and importing all the new photos easier than normal. It was nice not having to wait ages just for your software to open up.

Josh and Tyler took longer than normal to get from the venue to the tour bus. Based on the expression that they had on their faces as they walked in, you assumed that Tyler had asked what happened between the two of you. He took a seat across from you at the table, but Josh kept walking straight to his bunk.

“How are photos going?” Tyler asked, plastering a smile on his face.

“I barely started,” you said. “But if you want to look through them with me, you’re free to.”

Tyler switched around so that he was next to you on the bench. You both huddled around your laptop, looking through photos and picking out your favorites. Occasionally Tyler would make some comment about something he saw or was thinking during the show, causing the both of you to crack up.

Josh appeared again; the laughter between the two of you immediately quieted down as he made his way to the fridge. He looked over at you and Tyler huddled over your laptop and bit down on the corner of his lip. Without a word, he grabbed a water from the fridge and went back to his bunk. You watched him go, silently hoping that he would say something.

“It’ll get better,” Tyler said quietly, reaching over to rub your back.

“I really hope you’re right.”

 

A week had passed since your conversation with Josh, and things hadn’t really changed. The two of you were barely speaking aside from a few comments or questions here and there. It was slowly starting to take a toll on you. Not even the good times with Tyler or photographing shows could outweigh the disappointment you felt with each day that you and Josh continued to avoid one another.

You had tried to be friendly with Josh again and act like nothing had ever happened, but after three days of no response from him you had given up. He was always acting like you weren’t in the room and if he did, you felt unimportant. It was growing harder for you to believe that there was ever a moment where you would have done anything for him.

“Y/N/N!” Tyler called.

His footsteps echoed a bit as he moved along the bus to where you were currently laying on your bunk. The one advantage of Josh not constantly distracting you--at least, not intentionally--was that photo editing seemed to go by much quicker.

“What?” you asked, pulling aside the curtain of your bunk.

You jumped a bit as Tyler’s face appeared right in front of you, causing you to laugh.

“You coming?” he asked, gesturing his head towards the door.

“Is it time already?”

“Yeah and I don’t feel like getting ready alone today,” he let out a little laugh.

“Ok, I’m coming.”

Tyler had already grabbed your camera bag for you so you followed him off the bus and into the venue. You flashed your badge at the guard but Tyler just continued right through, fully enjoying the benefits of being the main act.

“I’m just waiting for the day when you get stopped by security again,” you laughed, remembering the story that he had told you months ago.

“I’m sure it will come, but I’m going to take advantage of not having to use a badge as long as possible.”

You collapsed onto the couch in Tyler’s dressing room and stared up at the ceiling. Tyler immediately stripped off his hoodie and pulled on his dress shirt. He did some vocal warm-ups as he wandered around the room, slowly working away at the buttons.

Your phone buzzed in your pocket. Tyler watched as you awkwardly lifted your hips so that you could slide it out of your back pocket and check the notification. It was a text from one of your good friends back in California. You had almost forgotten you had texted them earlier that day.

**_August:_ ** _ Sorry about the wait, got caught up with work stuff. Did you still need to call? _

**_Y/N:_ ** _ Yeah, give me two seconds? _

**_August:_ ** _ Sure thing. _

“I have go make a call,” you said. Tyler nodded as he continued to make some weird noise that he swore helped make his voice sound better.

It took you a second to remember how to get back outside. The tour bus would be empty, and you figured that was as good a place as any to make a phone call. You walked in and sat down on the couch, leaning back into it slightly. It took you a second to work up the courage to actually dial August’s number. The gravity of what you were considering doing felt like a weight on your chest.

“Hello?” August answered after a few rings.

“Hi,” you said, letting out a sigh.

“How have you been?”

“I’ve been ok. What about you?”

“Good! I just got a new job, as you know, and it’s actually been working out really well.”

“That’s great to hear.”

“Thanks, but I know you didn’t call to hear about my job. What’s going on with you?”

“I have a question that I needed to ask you,” you said, picking at a loose string on your jeans.

“Sure, go for it.”

“Um, I was thinking about coming back to California for a little while. I was just wondering if I would be able to stay with you?”

“Of course! When are you thinking you’ll get here?”

“I’m not exactly sure, but probably this weekend. I still have to look at tickets and sort a few details out.”

“Well my house is open to you whenever and however long you need.”

“Thank you so much, August. It means the world to me.”

“Don’t mention it. I can’t wait to see you again, it feels like it’s been ages.”

“Tell me about it. I’ll talk to you soon with more details, ok?”

“Perfect.”

“Later.”

“Bye, Y/N.”

You hung up the call and set your phone in your lap. That was all the information you needed.

“There you are!” Tyler said as you walked back into the dressing room. “Did you get your call dealt with?”

“Yeah.”

You walked over and took a seat on the couch. Tyler had now moved on to messing with his necktie, something that he seemed to struggle with every night.

“Need help?” you laughed.

“Yes, please.”

You grabbed the tie from around Tyler’s neck and helped him to do it up properly. He turned to look at himself in the mirror and smiled.

“I’ll never understand how you do that so well,” he said, lightly touching the tie.

“You can thank Matthew for that one.”

“Probably the only thing he was good for, huh?”

“Yep,” you sighed. “Um, hey, Ty?”

“What’s up?”

“There’s something that I need to tell you.”

“Hit me with it.”

Your hands were already shaking and you hadn’t even gotten the words out yet. The way that Tyler was staring at you wasn’t helping to calm your nerves much either. You already knew that he wasn’t going to like what you were about to say, but there wasn’t really a way to get out of telling him.

“I’m leaving,” you finally blurted.

Tyler’s head pulled back and his eyebrows furrowed, “What?”

“I’m leaving. I’m going to photograph the next few shows and then on Saturday’s break I’m going to fly home to California.”

“Y/N/N,” he sighed. “Why?”

You chewed on the inside of your cheek, “This whole thing with Josh is just… I can’t handle it right now. Between seeing him every day and him catching my eye at every show and acting like I don’t exist otherwise, it’s not helping me move on like I should be. I just need to be away from here. Away from all of this,” you gestured vaguely around the room.

“Have you considered any other options?”

“Ty, I swear I’ve exhausted every option. Trust me, I don’t want to leave.”

“And who’s going to take your place?”

“I contacted another local photographer. His stuff is really good and he seemed stoked about the opportunity. And who knows, maybe someday I’ll be able to come back once this whole thing blows over. It’s just that right now I need to put myself first, and that means leaving tour for the time being.”

Tyler nodded, “I understand, but I am going to miss you like crazy.”

“We’ll stay in touch, ok? That’s a promise.”

Tyler held out his arms and you held onto him tightly. You were forever thankful for this opportunity that you had been given, even if it didn’t quite work out in the end.

“Let’s go out there and make some of these last two shows some of our best, what do you say?”

You smiled, “I say that’s a great idea.”


	20. Chapter 20

****

“Hello!” you called as you walked through the front door.

“I’m in the office!” August called back.

You set your camera equipment by the door and headed for August’s office. They were sitting in front of their computer, typing out something on an Excel spreadsheet. A few seconds of looking at all the numbers and symbols was enough for you to lose interest.

“How was your shoot?” August asked, spinning around in their chair to face you.

You shrugged, “Normal, I guess. The family was happy to see me again.”

Now that you were back in California, you had been able to pick up quite a few of your old clients. It was nice to reconnect with people you hadn’t seen in months, but the photography itself didn’t have the same appeal as it had before you left for Ohio.

“How does it feel to be back?”

“Good,” you smiled, hoping that it was convincing. “It’s nice knowing where everything is again.”

It wasn’t a complete lie. There were things that you liked about being back home again: being able to see your family whenever you liked, hitting up your favorite local restaurants, and being able to sleep in a real bed every night. Yet, you still found yourself missing the late nights on the bus and all the antics you got dragged into before shows.

“I’m glad to hear that. I’d love to talk more, but my boss has been on me about getting this spreadsheet done.”

“I’ll leave you to it.”

It was getting close to dinnertime, but you didn’t want to walk back into August’s office and bother them again. Instead, you decided to lay down on the couch and scroll through social media for awhile to kill some time. A couple of pictures from the last leg of the tour popped up on your phone. You had to admit, the new photographer was doing a great job.

There were photos that you needed to be editing, but you pushed them to the back of your mind. It had been quite some time since you had to deal with tight deadlines and hours of photo editing, but you still seemed to get antsy if you weren’t constantly working. You had done three back to back photoshoots today and you deserved a break from working for a little while.

“Ok, I think I got enough work done for now,” August announced as they walked into the living room. “Do you want to make some dinner?”

“Let’s do it,” you answered.

“So, tell me more about Ohio,” August said as they pulled out various ingredients.

You scoffed, “What is there to tell? The few weeks that I actually spent there were some of the worst of my life.”

“Matthew really made life terrible, didn’t he?”

“The worst. Who knows where I would be right now if I hadn’t run into Josh at the grocery store.”

“Yeah, because that worked out so well,” August laughed.

“Hey! It was good for awhile. Then feelings and expectations just came in and screwed everything up.”

“Why didn’t you just come home after the breakup with Matthew? You know that I totally would have let you stay here.”

You stood up and began to help August chop up some fruit, “I was just trying to prove a point, I guess. After we broke up, I didn’t want it to seem like I was running back home. It was dumb, but it opened up a lot of doors for me.”

“You mean like photographing for the band?”

“Exactly. I had never even considered doing concert photography before, but once I started touring I realized that I loved it way more than what I’m doing here.”

“Have you considered finding another band to tour with? It seems like you really love traveling and doing all that. Plus, it would be a good way to keep you distracted.”

“I could, but if I’m being honest, August, I just don’t think I’ll like it as much. Concert photography is great, I love it, but Tyler and Josh and the rest of the crew is really what made it for me. If I start touring again, I know that I’ll just compare it to the experience that I had with them.”

“I understand. Hopefully you find something here that you love just as much.”

“No kidding, plus I need to start looking for places to live. Maybe I’ll actually get to have a place to myself for the first time in my life,” you laughed.

“I work with a guy whose friend sells houses and stuff, maybe he could hook you up.”

“That would be fantastic. Matt was always the one that handled real estate stuff, so I’ll need all the help that I can get.”

“Have you decided where you want to move?”

“I’ll probably stay in the area. I know where everything is and I don’t want to have to make long commutes all the time because I have clients here, you know?”

“I was hoping you would say that,” August smiled. “You moved to Ohio once, and I’m not ready for you to move away again.”

You leaned over and pulled August into a side hug, “Trust me, I’m not leaving again any time soon.”

The two of you continued to talk about life as you made dinner. August did most of the work, although you pitched in whenever possible. Once it was ready, you both shuffled into the living room and made yourself comfortable. It had become a ritual for you two to watch TV together while you ate dinner, no matter how busy you both were.

“This is really good, August!” you said as you took a bite of your food.

“Shh! The show is starting,” they said, gesturing at the TV with their fork.

You giggled and shook your head. Leave it to August to get mad at your for complimenting them.

 

You woke up to a pillow being thrown directly at your head. In seconds, you were sitting up straight and looking around the room. August was standing at one end of the couch, arms crossed tight across their chest.

“Great, you’re up. Now answer your damn phone.”

You hadn’t even realized your phone was ringing. August stomped back off to their office and you reached for your phone on the coffee table where it was sitting among your dirty dishes from dinner. The last thing you had remembered was laying down after finishing your food. You hadn’t felt that tired, but apparently your body had other ideas.

Your phone started to vibrate again, reminding you that you needed to answer it. If you didn’t, August would probably come out and yell at you again. That was not something you wanted to deal with at the moment, especially with your groggy post-nap state.

“Hello?” you answered, not even bothering to check who was calling. Your voice sounded hoarse and quiet, so you cleared your throat and repeated yourself.

“Y/N/N!” You recognized Tyler’s voice immediately. Just hearing him caused you to smile. “I was beginning to think you weren’t going to answer. I don’t normally call twice, but this is kind of a time sensitive subject.”

You and Tyler had been surprisingly good about staying in touch. He would call you a couple times a week whenever he had the time just to catch up. It was nice to know that even when you weren’t on tour, Tyler still cared about you. Josh, on the other hand, hadn’t said anything to you since you told him that you were leaving.

“Sorry, I was taking a nap. Then my roommate came in and threw a pillow at my face because my phone ringing was bothering them.”

“My bad. I didn’t mean to be the indirect cause of you getting hit in the face with a pillow.”

“It’s fine, you didn't know. Anyway, what is this time sensitive subject?”

“Right, so as you may have seen we’re playing a show in California in a couple weeks.”

“Yeah, I saw that,” you sighed. You didn’t like where this was going.

“I was thinking you might want to come to the show? I could hook you up with a backstage pass and you could come hang for a bit before and after the show. Plus, you’d have one of the best seats in the house! Right next to the stage.”

“I don’t know, Ty. I’m still dealing with the whole Josh situation and being backstage just seems like the perfect setting for conflict.”

“Please, Y/N/N. I want to see you and that’s the only opportunity I’m going to have. You know how it is.”

“I do, and I want to see you too. It’s just that I’ve been making a lot of good progress these last few weeks and I don’t want to drag myself back to square one because of an uncomfortable situation.”

“Ok, hear me out. What if I get you an actual seat for the show and then you just come hang out afterwards? That gives us plenty of time to be together and you won’t be as likely to run into Josh.”

You tapped your fingers against your leg as you considered Tyler’s offer. Going to the show would mean the absolute world to him and you had to admit, seeing a show from a fan’s perspective would be a cool opportunity. 

“What’s the date?”

Tyler told you the date of the show and you double checked your calendar just to make sure that you didn’t have any photoshoots booked.

“Alright, Ty, I’ll come to the show.”

“Perfect, I’m getting a ticket secured for you right now. Pre-sale starts tomorrow and I want to make sure you get the best seat.”

“And where exactly is this ‘best seat’ you speak of?”

“First row on the piano side, how does that sound?”

“Sounds great.”

“I’ll get that ticket sent to you as soon as possible. And as much as I would love to talk more, Josh and I have early rehearsals tomorrow and I’m already up way later than I should be.”

“Get some rest, Ty, and I’ll see you at the show.”

“I look forward to it.”

“Me too.”

“I’ll talk to you later.”

“Goodnight.”

You ended the call and set your phone down on your legs. Hopefully going to the show wouldn’t be a huge mistake.


	21. Chapter 21

Your plain tour hoodie felt very out of place among the sea of red beanies and black paint. You sank a little lower in your seat and pulled out your phone to pass the time; there were still a few minutes until the first opener went on. A text from Tyler was on your screen as you pulled your phone out of your pocket. You hadn’t even felt the vibration.

**_Tyler:_ ** _ Did you find your seat ok? _

You answered him by sending him a picture of the stage from where you were sitting. He hadn’t been kidding about it being one of the best seats in the house. From where you were, you would be able to see nearly everything.

You felt a pang of sadness as you thought of Tyler getting ready backstage without you. Hanging out before shows had always been one of your favorite parts of tour. At least you would have time to hang out with him after today’s show.

**_Tyler:_ ** _ And you got your backstage pass? _

**_Y/N:_ ** _ Yep, it’s in my pocket. I didn’t want someone to steal it from me when I wasn’t looking. _

**_Tyler:_ ** _ Perfect, I can’t wait to see what you think of the show tonight :) _

**_Y/N:_ ** _ I’m looking forward to it. Good luck out there! _

You silenced your phone and slid it back into your pocket right as the lights began to dim. 

 

Tyler stood up from his piano and walked towards the front of the stage. You hadn’t been able to wipe the smile from your face for the entire show so far. Watching the show from a fan’s perspective was an entirely new experience for you, and you were loving every moment of it.

“Alright, this next song is one that all of you may know. It’s from our new album, Blurryface, and before we get into it I want to take a moment to talk about it. This song is very important to me, but tonight we are going to dedicate this song to someone on Josh’s behalf. Y/N/N, I know you’re in the audience,” Tyler said, turning in the general direction that you were sitting.

The smile was immediately wiped from your face as confusion took over. The small handful of fans who recognized you had started staring you down, and the rest were searching frantically in the direction that Tyler had pointed. You felt your face going bright red.

“This one is for you, from Josh.”

You recognized the beginning to Tear in My Heart immediately. It should have been obvious what song Tyler was referring to from the beginning, after all you had heard this setlist countless times now. Your eyes were glued to Josh throughout the entire song, and you were pretty sure that he was looking for you too.

 

Confetti floated down from the ceiling as you stormed your way up the stairs. A few people had tried to stop you and ask what that whole song dedication was about, but you kept moving. Even if you had any sort of clue as to what was going on, you didn’t want to stop and talk about it with every other person you walked past.

You headed straight for the general admission entrance. Pushing past people and towards the stage was just about the only way you knew to get backstage. There was no way you were about to walk around the outside of the venue until you found the right door.

“Woah, where do you think you’re going?” a security guard asked as you neared the stage.

“I have a pass,” you sighed, digging it out of your sweatshirt pocket.

“Sorry,” he said. “You aren’t the first one to try that tonight.”

“I know,” you smiled, knowing that he was just doing his job. “I used to work for the band.”

He nodded and you continued past the stage. You only got so far before you realized that you had absolutely no idea where you were going. The venue seemed vaguely familiar, but then again most places seemed to look the same backstage.

“Y/N? I had no idea you were here!”

You turned in the direction of the voice. It was one of the crew members.

“Hey,” you smiled at her. “I’d love to talk, but I really need to find Josh right now.”

“Of course, follow me.”

You breathed a sigh of relief at not having to wander aimlessly around the long halls until you found Josh’s dressing room. She stopped at the end of a hallway.

“Just down there and on the left.”

“Thank you so much.”

“Of course!”

You walked down the hall until you could see the doorway. The door was mostly open, giving you a glimpse into the dressing room. Josh’s back was currently to you, so you seized the opportunity to move closer. You leaned against the doorway, but didn’t say anything. One of your hands played nervously with your sweatshirt strings.

Even though you had spent the last part of the concert preparing exactly what you were going to say, you stood frozen in place now. It was like all of the anger had evaporated and now you were just confused. You had no idea what was going on. Or why.

“Y/N?”

You hadn’t seen Josh turn around. 

“Um, hi,” you muttered.

“What are you doing here?”

“I think you know.”

He exhaled lightly, “I guess I do.”

“What are you doing, Josh? Haven’t you done enough to me already?”

His eyebrows furrowed, “What do you mean?”

“This whole back and forth between wanting to be with me or ignoring me entirely. Do you know how exhausting it is to wake up each day wondering if you’re going to talk to me or not? I’m a human with human feelings. You can’t just flip flop between liking me and pushing me away. It isn’t fair to you and it definitely isn’t fair to me.”

“I didn’t mean to do that to you. There was just so much going on in my mind and I had to pull away from everyone.”

“So did I. Why do you think I left tour?”

“You left because of me?”

“Yeah.”

“But you said-”

“I lied, alright? I didn’t want to admit that being around you was too hard for me, so I made up some lame excuse.”

“I’m so sorry, Y/N. I wanted--want--to be with you so badly but I knew it was a bad idea. When I saw how close you had gotten with Tyler, it just made it that much harder for me to reach out to you. I should have talked to you. I know I really messed up.”

You tried to ignore the way that your heart fluttered when he said he still wanted to be with you. He had taken a few steps closer to you, but you were still in the doorway with your arms crossed tightly across your chest.

“Dying my hair. Leaving for tour with two guys I barely knew. Sneaking out in the middle of the night to ‘steal’ a tech van with you and Ty. Do you think I did any of those things because they were good ideas?”

“I guess not.”

“Sometimes you have to take risks in life, Josh. You never know when one of them is going to pay off.”

Josh reached forward and placed a hand gently on your arm. You relaxed them slightly, allowing him to reach down and grab your hands. He slowly pulled you towards him so that you were only a few inches apart.

“I know what I did was wrong, and that’s why I’m willing to take a risk now.”

You looked up at him, studying his face for any sign that this was just another game. 

“I don’t care what other people say. All that matters is you, Y/N/N. I love you.”

You answered him by pulling him into a kiss. His hands moved to your waist, pulling you closer to him. It was a gentle kiss, but you could still tell just how eager Josh was to finally have you in his arms. Your fingers moved to his hair and twisted themselves in his red curls. You were beginning to think that you would never get tired of how soft his lips were.

He finally pulled away and pressed his forehead to yours.

“You better mean it this time,” you said, moving your hand down to the side of his face.

“I’ve never meant something more.”

You laughed and gave him another quick kiss. He smiled against your lips.

“I love you so much,” you said. “Even if you’re one of the biggest idiots that I know.”

“Hey, at least I know how to dye my hair.”

You rolled your eyes at him and finally stepped out of his arms. He looked at you with a dorky grin on his face.

“I hope you know that you still have to earn my trust back. One kiss doesn’t solve all our problems.”

“It sure did make a lot of them,” he laughed a little. “But I’m more than willing to make all of this up to you.”

You grinned, “Good. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go find Tyler.”


	22. Chapter 22

“Tyler!” you called as you burst through the door of his dressing room.

“Y/N/N!”

You rushed forward into his arms and hugged him tightly. He rocked you from side to side.

“I have so much to tell you,” you said, holding him at arm’s length.

His eyebrows furrowed, “Ok, I want to hear all of it, but first I have to know what you thought of the show.”

“It was amazing, Ty. Watching it with the rest of the fans was a whole new experience.”

“I’m so glad to hear that. So, what did you need to tell me?”

“First of all, how dare you and Josh go behind my back to plan some elaborate announcement like that,” you laughed.

Tyler shrugged, “He said he wanted a grand gesture to really make it up to you.”

“Second of all, it worked.”

He grabbed onto your arms so tightly that it hurt a little. You laughed as he stared at you with wide eyes.

“It worked?”

“It worked.”

“It worked!”

You nodded, unable to keep yourself from laughing at Tyler’s reaction. He was pacing around the room and shaking his head.

“My two best friends are dating. This is like the best day ever.”

“Tell me about it.”

“Josh!” Tyler said suddenly. “My man!”

You turned around to see what Tyler was doing. Sure enough, Josh was standing in the doorway, moments away from getting pulled into a hug by Tyler. He seemed a bit confused as he patted Tyler on the back.

“I told him the news.”

“Ah,” he laughed.

Josh walked over and wrapped an arm around your waist. It was weird to finally be affectionate with him after so much time spent wondering what things would be like if you were together.

“Wait!” Tyler said suddenly, turning to face you. “Does this mean what I think it means?”

You furrowed your eyebrows, “What do you think it means?”

“You’re going to come back as our photographer?” Tyler smiled hopefully.

“I haven’t even thought that far ahead yet, but I don’t see why I wouldn’t.”

“Perfect, you can leave with us tonight!”

“Ty,” you laughed. “No.”

“Why not?” Josh chimed in.

You looked up at him, “You guys are leaving in what? Half an hour? There’s too much that I have to sort out here before I can just up and leave again. How about I join you for the next leg?”

“But that’s weeks away,” Josh said, pulling you in a little closer.

“Well, it will give me plenty of time to start looking for places in Ohio,” you grinned.

“You’re coming back?” Tyler gasped.

“Why wouldn’t I? My two favorite people live there.”

“You’re moving to the place you swore to hate,” Josh laughed.

“Yeah. There might have been these two idiots who taught me how to love it.”

“Boys! We need to start packing up!” one of the crew members called.

“I’m really going to miss you these next few weeks,” Josh said.

“Me too,” Tyler chimed in.

“We’re going to stay in touch, ok? It will be over before you know it.”

Both of the boys gave you a hug before they went running into the hall. You stood in Tyler’s dressing room for a moment, allowing everything that had just happened to fully sink in.

“Wait!” Josh said, suddenly running back into the room. “I can do this now.”

He pulled you into a kiss before winking at you and disappearing from the room again. You smiled and shook your head.

*     *     *

“I can’t believe I just got everything decorated just for us to leave again tomorrow,” you sighed, collapsing onto your new couch.

Josh walked over and tapped on your legs. You lifted them up for a moment so that he could sit down, only to immediately drop them back down on his lap.

“Aren’t you excited to be back on tour?” Josh asked.

“Of course I am! I just want one more week here to actually enjoy having a fully furnished apartment.”

“Well now you get to enjoy a fully furnished tour bus.”

You groaned and leaned back against the couch. Josh reassuringly tapped your shin.

“And you get to hang out with me every day!” he grinned.

“I  _ am _ excited for that,” you smiled. “Even though I’m with you and Tyler almost every day even when we aren’t on tour.”

“Speaking of Tyler, are we still meeting him for lunch?”

“Yeah, we need to leave in half an hour or so.”

“Perfect.”

You stared up at the ceiling of your apartment. Part of you still couldn’t believe how far you had come since you first came to Ohio. It almost felt like a dream.

“Do you ever think about how different things could have turned out?”

You pulled yourself up to a sitting position and took your legs off of Josh, “What do you mean?”

“Well,” he said, scratching at his cheek. “The day that I saw you in the grocery store, I almost didn’t say anything. Imagine if I hadn’t and just moved on after I got my hair dye. Who knows where we would have been.”

“Yeah,” you nodded. “I think about that a lot.”

“And I almost bailed on dedicating that song to you. Tyler convinced me to stick with it, although in the end I guess it didn’t really matter. He could have said whatever he wanted to up there,” Josh laughed, his mouth curving up into a small smile.

“Why did you dedicate that song to me?” you asked.

You reached out and grabbed one of Josh’s hands. Rather than lacing your fingers with his, you began to trace patterns onto the back of his hand.

“I knew that it was going to take a lot to win you over, so I thought what better way to show you that I was serious than dedicating a song to you in front of hundreds of fans.”

You giggled, “Yeah, I guess you need to be pretty serious to do something like that.”

He tilted your chin up so that you met his eyes, “And I am serious.”

You leaned forward and pressed your lips to his. The two of you had only been together for a few weeks now, but you already felt the happiest you ever had. He had wasted no time in showing you just how much he loved and cared about you. It served as a reminder of how truly awful Matthew had been.

You pulled away from Josh, but kept your faces only a few inches apart.

“I love you, but if you ever embarrass me in front of a crowd like that again, you won’t like the consequences.”

Josh grinned, “I love you too. And deal.”

You smiled and leaned back into the pillows. Josh moved over so that he could lay down on top of you. He hummed happily as you began to run your fingers through his hair.

“You’re going to need to dye your hair again,” you said, noticing how dark his roots had gotten.

“I know. I was thinking maybe pink. Or yellow.”

“I think those would both look really nice.”

“Really?”

“Josh, I’ve seen old pictures of you. I’m pretty sure you can pull off any hair color.”

He smiled and wrapped his arms a little tighter around you, “It’s nice to hear you say that.”

“Can I ask you one more question?”

“Sure.”

“Why  _ did _ you decide to talk to me in the grocery store?”

He laughed a little, “I was genuinely curious as to why you had your hood pulled over your head like that. I also thought that I might be able to offer some help if it was your first time dying your hair. Little did I know, I was about to meet the love of my life.”

You smiled, “Thank you for helping me turn my life around.”

“Anything for you.”

“Now as much as I would like to lay here forever, we need to get ready or we’re going to be late for lunch with Tyler.”

“No,” Josh whined, wrapping his arms tighter around you. “I don’t want to get up.”

“Josh,” you laughed, tapping his shoulder. “You just said you would do anything for me.”

“Anything but that.”

“Come on, I’ve been in pajamas all morning. I need to go get dressed.”

“Fine,” he groaned, getting up so that you could get off the couch.

“Thanks,” you smiled, pressing a kiss to his cheek as you headed for your bedroom.

You quickly changed into proper clothes and fixed up your hair before joining Josh in the living room again. He stood up and pressed a kiss to your forehead.

“Ready to go?”

You nodded, “I’ve been looking forward to getting pizza again since you and Tyler took me there for my informal interview.”

“Me too,” he smiled, taking hold of your hand. “Let’s get going or we’re going to be late.”


	23. Epilogue

****

You watched as yellow confetti floated down from the ceiling, momentarily forgetting that you were supposed to be photographing the end of the show. Thousands of fans dressed in yellow watched it fall down around them with huge smiles on their faces. It was a stark contrast to the sea of red and black that you had grown so accustomed to seeing on the last tour.

“We’re Twenty One Pilots and so are you!”

Tyler and Josh took a bow before walking off stage. You took a few more shots of the crowd and the stage before heading backstage yourself. The first show of the Bandito Tour had undoubtedly been a success.

You found the boys together in Tyler’s dressing room. Each of them turned as they heard you enter the room, smiling widely as they did so.

“That was amazing!” you said, rushing into Josh’s arms. “Phenomenal. I just… I have no words.”

“We really did it,” Tyler smiled.

“You did,” you said, now pulling him into a hug.

“I can’t wait to see those pictures,” Josh beamed. 

“I think I have some really good ones.”

Josh pulled you into his side and pressed a kiss to your temple.

“We can talk more later,” Tyler said. “Let’s focus on getting our stuff together.”

“I’ll see you on the bus,” you smiled.

You walked out of the venue and into the cool night air. It had been a long time since you had last photographed a show--mostly because of the boys deciding to go on hiatus--and now that you were back on the road, it felt like a piece of you had fallen back into place.

You grabbed your equipment and took a seat on the couch, already knowing that the boys would want to sit with you while you sorted through the night’s photos. Sure enough, as soon as they got on the bus they rushed over to sit on either side of you. 

“That ended up looking so nice,” Tyler said, pointing to a picture you had taken while they were on B stage.

“Yeah, it did,” Josh chimed in. “I really like that visual.”

“You guys really outdid yourselves on this tour,” you smiled as you clicked through photos. 

“Yeah, but not everyone would be able to see it if it weren’t for you,” Josh said, putting an arm around your shoulder and pulling you slightly into him.

“Isn’t it weird to think of where we started?” Tyler asked, looking to Josh.

“Crazy,” he said, shaking his head. 

“I can’t even begin to imagine what it’s like to be here after all the work you put in,” you added. “Just thinking about the first concert I photographed for you guys on the Blurryface tour versus now is mindblowing to me.”

Tyler patted your shoulder, “I’m so glad that you get to be on this adventure with us, Y/N/N.”

You smiled, “Me too.”

 

Your laptop screen shined light onto your face as you sat on the dark tour bus. Both of the boys had passed out next to you, even after a brave effort by both of them to keep you company as long as possible. You didn’t mind the quiet, though, and you were glad that they were getting some rest for tomorrow’s show.

Josh shifted a little bit on the couch. He had insisted that he rest his head on your leg, even though you said you might accidentally bump his head while you were editing. After some back and forth, you gave in and let him snuggle up next to you. It hadn’t taken him long after that to fall asleep.

All of this still felt surreal to you. A few years ago, you never could have imagined that you would be given the opportunity to travel the world with your best friends doing what you loved almost every night. Thinking about the life you got to live never failed to make you smile.

Tyler’s head bobbed forward dangerously, so you lightly tapped him on the shoulder to wake him up.

“Huh?” he said suddenly, shaking his head.

“You should go to bed, Ty.”

He nodded and rubbed at one of his eyes, “You’re right. Goodnight, Y/N/N.”

“Goodnight. Get some rest.”

Once you heard Tyler safely get into his bunk--a task he sometimes struggled with when especially tired--you tapped Josh.

“What?” he mumbled.

“You should go to bed.”

“Are you done editing photos?”

“Not quite yet.”

“Then I’m not going anywhere.”

You laughed a little and gave his shoulder a light pat. Nothing had changed since the last tour, it seemed.

Your eyelids were near impossible to keep open by the time that you finished editing the last photo. You shut your laptop and leaned back into the couch for a moment, taking a moment to relax before you got up and got ready for bed.

“Are you done?” Josh asked.

“Yeah, I am.”

“Alright, let’s get some sleep then.”

Josh slowly got up and helped you up from the couch. You allowed him to lead you back towards your bunk.

“Goodnight,” he said, giving you a quick kiss.

“Goodnight.”

You hopped into your bunk, unfortunately no longer covered in the same pictures as the last tour, and got comfortable.

“Hey, Y/N/N,” Josh whispered.

“What?”

“Nice job today.”

You laughed a little as Josh’s hand appeared inside the curtain of your bunk. With the last bit of energy that you had in you, you reached over and gave him a quick fist bump.

“You too.”

Your life had changed drastically in the last few years, but you wouldn’t change it for the world. For what felt like the first time, you had taken control and done something for yourself. As a result, you were happier than you had ever been and you knew no matter what happened, Josh and Tyler would always be there for you to fall back on.

All because of one trip to the grocery store.


End file.
